Wednesday, July 21, 2021

Gabi: A Working Woman Interviewed

By Paula Gaikowski

While scanning the transgender subs on Reddit, Femulate contributor Paula Gaikowski became intrigued by a girl named Gabi, who worked at a bank presenting as a woman a few days a week. 

One of my dreams was to work while presenting as a woman. My company and bosses supported my dream, but except for regular Halloween and Christmas party appearances en femme, I did not follow my dream. So I was fascinated by Gabi’s success working as a woman. And lucky for us, Gabi has kindly agreed to an interview about her working life, which was conducted by Paula.

Femulate: How did the opportunity to go to work as Gabi come about? It’s a big step to come out at work and you only worked some days as Gabi.

Gabi: Well, first I had been working at the place for a few months beforehand. That can have its positives and negatives. One of the big negatives is you can feel awkward and trapped by people knowing your male persona. But a huge positive is that you can gauge how people are and if you are comfortable with sharing this part of your life with them.

Once I determined that I felt comfortable with the environment and my coworkers, I began showing pictures of myself as Gabi. I was saying that I wanted to dress up for International Women’s Day to show my support. I had done so as a teaching assistant in graduate school so I had those pictures to help show I do it seriously and professionally.

For whatever reason, I didn’t end up doing it for International Women’s Day that year, but a few months later, I was away in Italy on an archaeological dig and messaging one of my coworkers. We had become good friends and I will actually be her maid of honor for her wedding this September! She happened to be ordering name tags for the bank branch and we were joking that it would be awesome if she ordered me a Gabriella name tag so I could dress as a woman for work. She ended up actually doing it and then had to explain to my boss who the tag was for. Luckily, my boss already knew about my dressing and is the single coolest lady I have ever known and such an inspiration. My boss handled telling the rest of the branch that it might be happening. 

When I returned home from Italy, I began to work as Gabi. I settled into a routine of working as her Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays and in guy mode Tuesdays and Thursdays. The way my facial hair grows, it is difficult to shave close enough to dress for hours in the daylight on consecutive days. I also found that if I wore something that covered up my body a bit more on Wednesdays, I only had to shave my body Mondays and Fridays.

Femulate: How would a typical day as Gabi start?

Gabi: A typical day started waking up much earlier in the morning than I would have to as a guy. For my job, I usually started at 10, so I would wake up around 6 to give myself plenty of time. Mondays and Fridays consisted of shaving my body and my face. Then I would go about putting on my makeup. I actually made a YouTube video showing exactly what I do, which I learned from a professional makeup artist. 

I generally had my outfits already picked out in my head so I could kind of coordinate the makeup with them (I loved wearing a purple lipstick with a purple dress). Once I finished my makeup and clothes, I would just go to work and probably pick up a smoothie or something drinkable for breakfast so that I didn’t mess up my makeup too badly.

Femulate: What are some of your more memorable moments working as Gabi?

Gabi: There were lots of memorable moments. I will always remember how absolutely cool my co-workers were with the whole situation. I marched in the local Pride parade (my bank  happened to be the main sponsor of Pride in Buffalo). I felt really comfortable as Gabi there, in general. 

I always found it funny when people would talk with my guy side about Gabi without realizing we were the same people. One time a customer insisted that my male persona had worked with Gabi on a previous occasion. For example, “That girl in the purple dress, you were here.”

I had one customer compliment my sultry voice, which was a huge confidence boost because who among us hasn’t worried about that? 

A Filipino woman once asked me when my baby was due. I was in such shock that all I could reply was, “Not for a while.” That gave me very conflicting feelings, as you can imagine. 

I also saw firsthand how differently men can treat women in  very annoying and rude ways like telling them to smile.

That concludes Part 1 of our interview with Gabi. Part 2 will appear here real soon now. 

For more about Gabi, click here to visit her Reddit page.

Source: ShopBop
Wearing AVAVAV

Eve catching rays at the Conrad Hotel in Fort Lauderdale


  1. I've been following Gabi on Reddit for a while now. I love her style, and her confidence in going out into the world. I'm really looking forward to part two of the interview

  2. I’ve been working as a cam performer for many years, it allows me to dress up or wear sexy lingerie at work. I enjoy the opportunity to express the real me and make money too, plus my followers are so supportive.

  3. Great to hear Gabi’s story and how she is accepted both as a male and female presenting employee
    So many fresh insights as to life in the bigender lane
    I greatly appreciated reading this taste of what I believe will be the future for many of us trans girls

  4. What an inspiring story!

  5. I wear dresses and look like a woman, yet I go by my legal male name.
    I get a kick out of the following:

    "I had one customer compliment my sultry voice, which was a huge confidence boost because who among us hasn’t worried about that? "

    I have a deep speaking and singing voice for a man (borderline basso profundo) so I don't sound anything like a woman. And I am NOT going to imitate a woman's speaking voice.

    What is amazing is that I get no strange looks from people coming to the house or from my neighbors with my feminine appearance but with my deep masculine voice and masculine name.

    I would REALLY like it for men (and I am a man) to be able to present as a woman and yet not to feel compelled to adopt a feminine name nor think of themselves as trans-women.


  6. What an amazing insight! Thank you for the interview!