Wednesday, July 22, 2020

Good At It

One reason that I femulate is because I am good at it.

Growing up, I loved playing baseball, but I was not good at it. I could hit the ball a mile, but I threw like a girl. A woman has to know her limitations, so I did not play much ball after age 13.

Coinciding with my disappearance from the diamond was my appearance in a dress. In my teens, I was experimenting as often as possible with my mother’s and sister’s wardrobes and cosmetics.

My Polaroid selfies proved to me that I was getting pretty good at crossdressing. So I kept at it because it was enjoyable doing something I was good at. But I was closeted and had no idea how my female presentation would play in the real world.

Still closeted in my late teens and early twenties, I received a few invitations to Halloween parties. What a great opportunity to test my femulating skills, so I accepted every invitation I received, attended the parties as a woman and received rave reviews.

Many people were impressed with my meticulous not-a-man-in-a-dress “costume,” but what was more telling and gratifying were the people who wondered, “Who is the woman not wearing a costume?” This happened at nearly every Halloween party I attended and motivated me to keep at it.

I believe that anybody can learn the skills to look like a woman. Women do it everyday, so why can’t a guy do it, too. Of course, women have a lot more practice doing it. But if a guy studies the art of female presentation and learns the tricks that professional femulators use for their finely-tuned male-to-female transitions, a fellow can present a reasonable facsimile of a woman, too.

That’s what I did – study, practice, study some more and practice, practice, practice. But I also had a few things going for me that helped me become a very good femulator.

👧 I “take after” my mother. She was a beautiful woman and I look a lot like her. She also had great legs and as a young woman, she was nicknamed “Leggy” by appreciative male co-workers. Like her, I have great legs and would you believe that a transman dubbed me “Leggy.” (Like mother, like son.)

👧 I have female breasts. I never sought medical advice about my 40B’s, but I assume I have gynecomastia. It is caused by male estrogen levels that are too high or are out of balance with testosterone levels (which probably accounts for the other thing I have going for me).

👧 I am naturally feminine. All my life, I had been accused of being feminine. The way I walked, talked and moved were decidedly girly according to the social norms police. I did not purposely act feminine. I just acted in a way that was natural to me, but my way was not the way of an all-American boy.

Even as an adult, I still did not think I acted in a feminine manner until I finally saw a video of myself speaking en femme at Hamvention. (You can view the video on YouTube. My appearance starts at the 6:39 mark and last about 2-1/2 minutes.)

I had never seen my female self “live” and I was anxious to see for myself if I had feminine mannerisms. After viewing the video, I have to admit that the social norms police were correct. That is all-woman up at the podium, not a man femininely dressed.

By the way, after that presentation, a fellow came over to talk to me. I have probably encountered him at every Hamvention I have attended during the past 10 to 15 years.

Anyway, the gent asked me, “How are you related to Stan Horzepa?”

I sure did not see that coming!

Yeah, I guess I’m good at it.

Source: Venus
Wearing Venus

Kira Sadovaya
Kira Sadovaya, model

Femulators in the “City of Brotherly Love” 100 years ago
Femulators in the “City of Brotherly Love” 100 years ago


  1. AnonymousJuly 22, 2020

    What a wonderful story Stana. How did you reply?


    1. I simply told him who I was. It took a little convincing before he realized what was what. He seemed to be OK with it because he was very pleasant when I ran into him again during the weekend.

    2. You are very beautiful woman

    3. You are beautiful woman and I like that

  2. This is where having friends (preferably female friends) who are blunt with you is a major plus. My femulation has been refined over the last 6 years due to 2 very helpful Sisters. However, I still receive comments/critiques from our community about how I need to "drag it up more". No matter how many times I try to explain that I'm not a drag queen, I'm a cross dresser presenting as genetic female. No need for huge lashes, glow-in-the-dark eye shadow, 7" platform pumps. My biggest thrills come when I'm out and civilians accept me as a woman. Granted, I've never been hit on by a man while dressed (- well, there was one night at the casino. My Sisters say he was hitting on me, but I was oblivious to his advances) but I have been "Miss"-ed almost regularly when shopping, and treated as a lady on the street by passers-by. Blending in is the greatest success story!

  3. AnonymousJuly 22, 2020

    You loved BASEBALL, but you "threw like a girl".
    My question is who SHAMED you for throwing like a girl? Rather than training you to properly throw/pitch?
    My experience is of 'so called coaches' derision and criticism rather than TRAINING AND COACHING was more than I could stand. It was easier to go home and watch tube. Since then, I have had little taste for sports.

    1. We know if we throw like a girl. It's about the arm movement. One of my best friends in high school had "female arms", at the elbow his forearm angled "up" into the so-called "baby holding" position. It's just one of those "gray zones" where we don't all have 100% of the characteristics of our sex. My friend developed an odd sort of overhand throw that was closer to that of a male. On the other hand, he was a fierce fast pitch softball pitcher.

  4. Stana

    I just watched your you tube video, and you are 100% correct you look and moved female.

    I want to emphasize that I am not being polite or scheming for a corner office at Femulate world headquarters,

    You honestly have the natural body language, posture and movement of a cisgender woman.

    For example when you speak in the first person "I" you gently place your hand on your chest.

    Also just your shoulders and general posture reads female.

    This is something that is just deep inside

    Thought I'd share thanks for all you do

    1. Thank you for the lovely comments!

  5. Nice post. I checked the YouTube video of your presentation as well. You have feminine moments!

    I am a frequent reader of your blog but haven’t posted. In the younger cd group and was featured as. Frock chick in the now defunct Frock magazine. Have purged after marriage as lovely wife doesn’t accept (which I totally understand) but miss those days of dressing.

    I recall you also had a post once of an androgynous magazine called Avant or Avaunt which featured andro models from all over the world. Do you happen to have that link?

  6. It's all about knowing who you are and actually recognizing it. Stana, you were in a great situation and, as I've mentioned before, in an anatomic "gray zone". Just look at those legs!!! So having recognized yourself, then you have to accept yourself and if you choose a path like that of Stana, understand what you need to do and put in the work.

    I had a sales manager years ago who used to repeat, "Plan your work and work your plan". Stana's story follows this saying. Here's what it's going to take to have the female presence you choose, so let's get to work! Here's another well-used phrase, "Keep your eyes on the prize". Looks to me like Stana did just that! Look at the video. Look at all the so-called little things she does. Attention to detail! She's studied feminine movement and presence and carries it off without a flaw. The plan was good. The work paid off. That was a woman I saw in that video clip.

  7. Re; "throw like a girl"

    Throwing "like a man" is learned. An awful lot of men, given a ball in their OFF hand (left, for most of them) throw "like a girl" Underhand is more natural