Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Dreaming Vividly

Since becoming semi-retired, more often than not, I remember my dreams after I awake. My dreams seem more vivid than I remember them being before I semi-retired, but one thing has not changed: in my most of my dreams, I am a woman.

In some dreams, I am aware that I am a transwoman, who has transitioned one way or another. In other dreams, being trans is not part of the equation — I am a woman, plain and simple.

Last night, I had a transwoman dream. I was in Vegas, where I have never been in my life and I was having a wonderful time at a casino until I encountered a family acquaintance. The twist was that even though I was embarrassed encountering the acquaintance, the acquaintance was not fazed and interacted with me as if I always was a woman!

And so it goes.

Source: Diane Von Furstenberg
Wearing Diane Von Furstenberg (Source: Diane Von Furstenberg)

Femulate reader Mindy wearing Calvin Klein from Dress Barn.


  1. Hi Stana

    I do not recall many of my dreams but when I do I am often a woman in them which does make me wonder. Also, when I do meditations I am either no gender or female and sometimes I recall a non-conforming gender event from my past which I had immediately buried because, ahem, I was a boy.



  2. Interesting. One of my recurring dream scenarios involves me dressing, but I never finish. There's always one more thing to tweak, one more zipper to pull, one last feature to add on before Julie is complete -- and then I wake up. Hmmmmmmm. I wonder what it means.

  3. I had a dream too...

    I was 20 again (I wish) and in the car with my parents. And I was dressed as I please – as a girl, long hair, nail polish and makeup, nice outfit and sandals. Don’t remember the whole ensemble, but the hair was dark and shoulder-length, the strappy sandals creamy-tan. In my dream I felt ‘normal’ in a way that I seldom do in my every day drab life. And all through, in my dream-journey with my dream-family, I had this quiet satisfaction that I’d come out to my parents, and I could just relax. And as I’d told them, then coming out to the rest of the world was going to be easy.

    (There was also a spell in the dream where we were circling the block looking for a KFC for lunch. I can now confirm that inside this trannie there’s a fat girl trying to get out!)

    In the dream-car, as we drove – through 70’s Oxford, where I went to college - my parents were very ‘matter of fact’ about my new girly-ness. Far from being judge-mental, they just seemed to take my transformation on board. As well they might of course, since it was my dream not theirs.

    As I awoke, I nurtured the feelings that my dream had engendered (now there’s a good word!), and just lay there, savoring the selfish joy of my beautiful transformation. And then as I awoke further, recalled that my Dad has been dead these 20 years, and my Mum for ten.

    Nothing profound there for a psychiatrist to unravel, but it affected me all day.

  4. About 6 years ago I took Chantix to help me quit smoking. It worked and I have not smoked since (although I did put on some weight that has never come off). One posted side effect of Chantix is the potential for 'vivid' dreams'. They were not kidding. These dreams came at me in vivid, living color, with dialog and music. They were wonderful and almost all of them had me dressed as a woman. At that time I actually compiled a 'dream log' where I wrote down my memories from these dreams. Some of them made sense and they seemed to combine people I knew, places I had been to and various social and work related adventures. I can now go back a reread my reveries.

    PS: I had tried quitting smoking many times but Chantix worked for me and the dreams were a nice extra.