Stuff 94: Coming to Terms with Terms

By J.J. Atwell

Terms?

Terms can be helpful when describing ourselves or others. But terms can also turn into horrible traps. Some terms are benign. Like him or her. Others are loaded with mostly negative connotations. I’m actually going to avoid some of those terms in this installment, but I’m sure you can think of some on your own. 

Try not to be offensive. Your terms are your choice. It seems to me that there are many terms we adopt when referring to our femme self. Notice I said “we.” I’m sure that each of us has a preferred term that they use when describing what we do.

My Terms

I generally refer to myself as a CD, short for crossdresser. To me it accurately describes what I do. When I was first starting out, the commonly used term was transvestite (TV), which is basically the Latin term for the same thing. However, in my mind the term transvestite has mostly negative connotations. Perhaps not in your mind. 

I love the term that Stana has coined, femulate. It’s so descriptive!! We are doing our best to emulate females. Being new it hasn’t yet acquired the negative baggage that some terms have over the years so that’s also a plus. However, since it is new it’s not in general use when describing our community. 

How about TG (transgender) or TS (transsexual)? Two fairly technical/medical terms that get tossed around generally to designate those of us who actually seek to transition from male-to-female in real life. At least that’s how I look at it, but please continue reading below.

For those of you that follow my writing, I’m curious as to what term you would prefer? I just had a discussion about this with one of the other members of my local group and she said she prefers TG to describe her. No, she is not going to transition. She just believes that TG is a nicer term than CD. So, there is another point about how terms we use can be misunderstood by others. Whatever you do, please respect the other person’s preferred terms. 

Drag queen is another popular term to describe men dressing as women. To my mind, this describes someone who is an entertainer. They often dress “over the top” when performing to attract attention. Many drag queens do present as believable females, but it seems it’s always with a wink and a nod. If you’re a drag queen, go ahead and wear that badge proudly while you enjoy your presentation. If you’re a CD who likes to emulate the drag queens when you go out then by all means, go ahead and own it!

Is Your Name A Term?

Long time readers of Stuff will recall in Stuff 22, back on December 11, 2023, I talked about how we pick out our nom de femme. I attempted to make a point about how we sometimes use different names for the same thing. Like that old English poet wrote about the smell of roses. Sadly, it seems that today what we call things can be divisive. What is a rose to some people can be skunk cabbage to others. 

But can our femme name be considered a term? I suppose it can be. Especially a name like Sheila (in Australia, that name is used for any woman) or Cissy/Sissy which some women use to denote a family relationship. And Missy would be another instance where a name would also be considered a term. I’m sure you can think of others too.

So, why do we care? Well, actually I don’t. I’m happy to use whatever terms you prefer and hope you’ll do the same. Once again, I’m just trying to get you, dear reader, to think outside the box. It’s fun!!!

I’ll Be Back

Thank you for reading my term paper! I’ll be finding more Stuff to write about. I welcome comments and suggestions here on Stana’s page or by email at Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com.

Wearing Shein

Alan Sues femulating on television’s Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In.