Emma Davies commented on Sunday’s “The ‘Extra Hour of Sleep’ Post” as follows:
The last two funnies did make me wonder of the experiences of others. I have found that younger women are becoming more open to my dressing nowadays. Are others feeling that they are seeing similar ? Has (social) media coverage affected attitudes? Just a thought.
Before I expressed my thoughts on the question, I asked AI, “Are younger women becoming more open to men who crossdress nowadays?”
Here is AI’s response:
Given the existing evidence, I think it’s plausible that younger women as a group are somewhat more open to men who cross-dress than older women, for the following reasons:
- Because younger women tend to embrace less rigid gender norms, they may be more receptive to non-traditional gender expression in partners.
- The increasing visibility of gender non-normative dress, plus cultural shifts around masculinity and femininity, likely lower the stigma surrounding men wearing “feminine” clothing or cross-gender style.
- Anecdotal accounts (though not rigorous) suggest that women often express positive or curious responses to male cross-dressers.
However — and this is key — becoming more open does not mean broad acceptance across all younger women, or that dating/relationship dynamics automatically shift. Individual attitudes will vary a lot based on culture, region, background, personal values, religious or community norms, and the context (casual vs committed relationship).
I am no expert, but my experience being out en femme for several years confirms reason 3. In general, women my age (the Boomers) are usually not thrilled with my crossdressing, while younger women are usually “positive or curious.”
The Boomers
A long-time family friend ended our friendship when she found out that I crossdressed. (She never saw me crossdressed; she just heard about it.)
Another close friend, who is very LGBT+ friendly, is not a fan. (She only saw me dressed on a couple of Halloweens.)
An in-law thought I was mentally ill. (She never saw me dressed.)
Another in-law socialized with me en femme, but she was always very uncomfortable when she did.
And so it goes with most female Boomers.
The Youngsters
The 20-, 30- and 40-something women at work were very supportive. As one remarked to me, she always looked forward to see how I looked en femme and I “never disappointed.”
When shopping en femme, young saleswoman in general are friendlier than older saleswomen although admittedly they are in it for the money.
The times I went out en femme with my daughter, I was her “aunt” unless we encountered one of her friends and then she introduced me as her father. After the shock wore off, her friends were always friendly with me and treated me as one of the girls. (Even her guy friends were OK with “Aunty.”)
So my personal anecdotal evidence agrees with AI’s reason number 3. How about you?
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| Wearing Boston Proper |
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| Thomas Kuc and Benjamin Flores, Jr. femulating on television’s Game Shakers. |
I have found very few problems with my presenting "en femme" virtually all the time. In fact, at my church, I am regarded as one of the men, and have joined a men's fellowship as I was invited to join. I think it helps that I do not pretend to be a woman and that I use my name of John and speak in my deep masculine voice.
ReplyDeleteJohn
My experience here is that women are generally more open than men. I also share your experience that younger (sales)women in general are friendlier than older ones. But at the same time younger women are more superficial: yes, they tell you it looks nice, cute, unusual, whatever, but that's it. Maybe because it is somewhat natural for them already? I don't know. If it happens that I draw interest of an older woman it often results in very detailed talks. And I benefit a lot of these talks as we share the same educational background at a similar age. Their tips and hints often make a difference and give me the impression of 'true interest', not only some kind of curiosity.
ReplyDeleteYes, #3 HAS been my experience when out and about. But since I never get into a real discussion with these ladies, I never know if they just accept my crossdressing or if I'm actually passing. Either way, I accept the acceptance.
ReplyDeleteI so agree. I often shop for female clothing, both en femme and in drab male clothes (but with foundation wear underneath so I can make certain whatever I try on fits a more female shape). I have to preface this with the fact that even when dressed as pretty as possible, it's hard for me to pass easily up close. I am six two in my stockings, and whenever I dress en femme, I always wear high heels. In my many experiences I only had two negative reactions, and both were from older women. In one of those experiences I went in male drab and immediately asked the the two older sales women at the desk (in an otherwise empty store) if it would be ok with them if I tried on some dresses. They gave me icy stares and asked me brusquely to leave. I imagined they were reaching for the phone to call the police, they were that taken aback. That one terrible experience unnerved me so much that for a long while I called ahead to ask if a store accepted crossdressing male customers, and if they would permit me to try on female clothing, I was never turned down or rebuked over the phone, so my courage gradually returned. The other bad experience was from customers. I came out of a dressing room in a dress, wearing black stockings and high heels, but with no wig or makeup. A couple saw me, immediately turned around and quickly departed the store, with the male saying something probably far from flattering to his female partner. I started to apologize to the very eager young sales woman who was helping me, she responded by saying "sweetie, don't worry about them, he probably wishes he could look as cute as you do in that gorgeous dress." I know, she was good at her job and definitely made some big sales from me that night, but I also believe that she was genuinely happy to be helping me, eagerly grabbing dress after dress, plus matching accessories, almost ushering me out of the dressing room so she could "get a good look at how pretty I looked." That was the norm, acceptance to genuine delight in seeing how a male looks in feminine attire. Even most customers either made positive comments or just ignored me and went about their business.
ReplyDeleteI have not noticed a bias based on age, except for that one time when two older woman were outwardly hostile. Most times everyone goes about their business and ignores, or pretends to ignore me.
I have been wearing trans-pride jewelry every day for about 18 months, usually dangly earrings in the trans flag colours. I often get compliments, always from younger people (mostly women, but a couple of men). Older people? Never. I wondered if they liked the jewelry (my favourites are dragon scale and chain mail) or the pattern. My SO said it was definitely the pattern.
ReplyDeleteAgree that younger women (and many men, as well) are more option to gender fluidity than boomer women, and are more likely to see a continuum of gender than only two sexes, male and female. Women and men of all ages may react negatively if they belong to a conservative religion, however, especially the fundamental churches that are driving the anti-trans attitudes now prevalent in conservative political circles. Tend to think this overrides a demographic-related openness by younger individuals.
ReplyDeleteMy observation is women are ok with men crossdressing, if it's not their husband, unless it's her idea and she thinks you won't necessarily agree to do it. Regards, Randi
ReplyDeleteThe question was..."Are Younger Women More Open to Crossdressers?. In my opinion, based on my experiences over a long period of vastly different encounters, I would say yes, younger women are more open to crossdressers. To keep this as a "Cliff Notes" response, I thought back to my negative experiences and they all involved an older woman that at the time I considered a curmudgeon because things didn't go the way that I had anticipated and ended up in a boring encounter. Younger minds have less walls. I'll continue to keep knocking on those walls. Why? You never know whose going to answer.
ReplyDeleteThis one is always a difficult one to pin down, but I generally find older women to be a bit less accepting, but I think the reasons are what differs.
ReplyDeleteIn talking with boomer women, while presenting as male, I do note them more as a group to be less accepting of CDs or trans girls, but find the reason is mostly it just does not fit a norm, or opposes religious beliefs.
I know quite a few younger women not okay with it all either, but their disapproval seems more politically motivated.
Out and about though, I have had nothing but positive experiences with boomer women and have had many a lovely chat with them. Perhaps many did not suspect I was trans though, but a boomer woman who knew me as male has openly accepted my femme side too and we have gone places together and she was not bothered at all.
Hard to say, but my suspicion was that many older women are uncomfortable with the idea of CDs and trans folks as they think the worst in their minds and believe stereotypes, but are accepting or at least tolerant when they encounter one who is putting in a good effort. It “fits” their idea of a woman so to speak.
Norah
Most women are OK with me. It's an almost "welcome aboard" attitude.I wonder how much of this is influenced by being treated as a second class citizen versus males so they like to see a male come over to their side. Or this also ties in to some of the literature re: women feminizing men.are these men a sub for the daughter they never had.? Very complex and eventually we should see more on this
ReplyDeleteYou’re husband it’s cute, My husband No way!!!! Paula G
ReplyDeleteI was about to say the exact same thing Paula. My wife couldn't care less if someone crossdresses unless it's me.
DeleteCrossdressers are a thing of the past and some younger women are more open with their sexuality and can accept a non-conforming person who now tends to live openly and not in secret
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