Friday, February 29, 2008

a night among the girls

Wednesday, I went out en femme to do outreach, dine, and attend my support group's monthly Wednesday night meeting.

I wore a my new "heather charcoal" sweater-knit dress, gray tights, black 3½” high heel platform pumps, silver jewelry, and favorite wig. I thought I looked very nice (see my photo from yesterday's blog).

My first stop was St. Joseph College in West Hartford to do outreach for a Human Sexuality class with three transsexual women (Deja, Diana, and Gina). We each gave a short biography and then took questions from the class.

It was a large class, all female with approximately 10% asking questions. The question and answer session lasted 90 minutes. I don't recall any unique questions coming my way, but during the session, I discovered a new (to me) possible reason for my desire to crossdress: hormones.

The question that led to this had something to do with what changes the transsexuals experienced after taking hormones. One transwoman mentioned that before taking hormones, viewing a movie like Love Story had no effect, but after taking hormones, she cried like a baby viewing such a film. The other two transwomen agreed that they experienced the same change.

In response, I said that I never took hormones, but all my life, I cried viewing a movie like Love Story (but not Love Story itself, which I absolutely hate).

The professor suggested that perhaps I should be tested by an endocrinologist. I assume he was inferring that maybe I had an imbalance in hormones, i.e., too many female hormones and/or not enough male hormones. If that is true then it might explain other things… like my feminine breasts and my feminine traits.

Since puberty, my breasts have resembled a female's breasts rather than a male's and are able to fully fill an A cup bra and nearly fill a B cup.

And since forever, I have had feminine mannerisms. I never affected feminine mannerisms; they are natural to me, but they must be more feminine than masculine because in my youth, my mannerisms caused me to be called "fairy," "faggot," etc. And as an adult, people who know me en homme and en femme say that I am the same person with the same mannerisms in either mode. Go figure!

After the class, a group of students approached me and mentioned that they felt sorry for me because I am so sad! (I have heard this comment before during other outreaches.)

I did not think I was sad, but I guess my bio is kind of sad in that I admitted that I'd like to go out en femme more often, but I don't in deference to my wife.

On a happier note, one student commented that my outfit was "cute." That made my day until another student stopped by to say, "You are so pretty!" She was very pretty herself and I was stunned by her compliment.

After outreach, we four went to a nearby diner (Gold Roc) to dine. I have eaten there before and they have always treated me like a lady. Wednesday night was no exception.

Like most diners, they have a huge selection that is reasonably priced and hugely portioned. I ordered a three-egg omelet and finished only half of it. Wearing a corset limits my intake; I call it my "crossdressing diet."

During dinner, Gina asked me if I was done with my electrolysis. To her surprise, I told her I never had electrolysis. (I guess my close shave and beard cover was working real well on Wednesday!)

After dinner, we four moved on to the meeting of the Connecticut Outreach Society (COS). There were about 15 in attendance to hear the owner of Glamour Boutique talk about his store and product line. It was not a formal presentation, but rather a very informal talk.

There were some new faces (to me) in attendance. Although, I did not know them, some knew me through my writings and COS newsletter editing.

By 9:30 PM, I was very tired, exited, and drove home to end my day en femme.

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