Crossdressing confidence is like building a house. As you build a house, it slowly grows piece by piece, board by board, room by room. When you are finished, you move in and live in the house and don’t think about building it.
Similarly, you build your crossdressing confidence going out among the civilians and experiencing the world as women do. Each experience out adds another piece to your house. When you are finished putting all the pieces together, you are ready and you won’t think about building confidence.
How do you know when you reach that point?
That’s easy... you will reach that point when you stop thinking about what you are doing and just do it without hesitation. The confidence-building stage is over and it is time to move in and enjoy what you have built.
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| Wearing Ann Taylor |
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| Peter Šrámek femulating Gabi Tóth on Hungarian television's Sztárban Sztár All Stars. Click here to watch this femulation on TicTok. |
the days are coming when this will be so accepted/expected
ReplyDeleteIf you want to present as a woman, it's a lifestyle that requires setting goals and working toward them. When I started, I began with a series of goals.
ReplyDeleteFitness: I lost a significant amount of weight, which improved my overall look and confidence.
Makeup: I practiced applying makeup daily, with guidance from a sales associate at a cosmetic counter.
Hair: I bought a good wig and took lessons on how to style it.
Therapy: I found a gender therapist, which helped me shed years of guilt and shame.
Community: I connected with other transgender women for support and friendship.
Voice: I practiced my feminine voice daily until it became natural.
Style: I became a student of fashion, learning to find my own style.
Movement: I am currently working on my posture and body language.
Today, my presentation feels second nature. I walk out the door with self-assurance, which makes others feel more at ease. When I visit cosmetic counters, I'm open about being transgender and ask for feedback. The saleswomen often use words like "poised," "natural," and "classic" to describe me.
Ninety percent of a great presentation is attitude and confidence, which comes from putting in the work. It takes effort to look effortless. Enjoy the journey, and one day, your presentation will feel perfect. ---Paula G
I agree with all your efforts to pass as a woman, except in my case trying to sound like a woman is a lost cause as I'm a bass singer. I resemble a genetic woman except for my voice. However, my deep voice doesn't seem to cause any kind of reaction.
DeleteJohn
Well said Paula! A good presentation takes effort and practice. Confidence takes practice too, and only by going out more can we practice that as we can practice other things at home, but not confidence.
DeleteSo glad you mentioned voice too love. I meet so many with a fab presentation but no femme voice and I see them hold back in the world. Voice can be the most difficult to do, but truly allows the freedom to interact and embrace life on the other side.
Norah
Thanks for the thoughtful post regarding confidence. It's a lot of work but with practice and patience you gain the confidence. I had a makeover done before I visited a mall in daylight because my make up needed work and I also learned about stick on nails. I had a huge confidence boost (recent weight loss rid my belly) .It was well worth the $$ and then I found Stana's Way which really boosted my confidence more. Thanks for your hard and consistent work helping us be better everyday. Hugs Brenda
ReplyDeleteAmen, Sister. Well said.
ReplyDeleteWell Said - It took me years from first getting an outfit together to being confident to venture out. One drive around the block at a time.
ReplyDeleteRhonda
Although society has made progress regarding those whose gender presentation doesn’t correspond to what narrow minded people think of as normal, we shouldn’t be overly confident that this welcome trend will continue.
ReplyDeleteRecently, several Michigan lawmakers introduced 2025-HIB-4938 (an “anticorruption of public morals act” sic) which is aimed at prohibiting material on the internet that corrupts public morals.
This material includes any person who tries to look like a gender they are not (defining being or depicting trans people as pornography).
(B) Is a depiction, description, or simulation, whether real, animated, digitally generated, written, or auditory, that includes a disconnection between biology and gender by an individual of 1 biological sex imitating, depicting, or representing himself or herself to be of the other biological sex by means of a combination of attire, cosmetology, or prosthetics, or as having a reproductive nature contrary to the individual's biological sex.
By that strange definition, even Femulate would be designated as pornographic.
It’s a ridiculous bill and as long as Gretchen Whitmer is governor of Michigan, it’s extremely unlikely that it would pass. However, even the introduction of a bill like this reminds us that extremists are out there and have been emboldened by the current administration.
Linda Marie
Most men have to overcome the admonitions in their childhoods such as, "Boys don't wear that", "Boys don't do that", and "Man up". I believe those sayings are a form of child abuse. I was spared all that when I was growing up, so I have no problems with dressing "en femme". My paternal grandmother introduced me to nail polish, and my mother taught me how to apply lipstick. I am always treated with respect and nobody has harrased me for wearing dresses and resembling a genetic woman.
ReplyDeleteJohn
My freshman year high school football coach called us "ladies" all the time. I kinda liked it, but I doubt he would get away with that in today's world.
ReplyDelete