My Life with Breasts, Part 1

By Jeanette Johnson

Do you fantasize about taking estrogen and growing your own breasts? I did. Growing your own breasts is akin to getting a new dog. You are responsible for their wellbeing. You have to support them and take them to the doctor for regular checkups. Hey, maybe that’s why a young dog and your breasts share a name: puppies.

I have had breasts for as long as I can remember. I suppose I started trending “transgender” long before that word was first used. As a chubby child, adult neighbors commented, “With titties as big as yours you should be a girl.” Who was I to argue with grownups?

Gynecomastia is from the Greek language meaning woman-gyneco and breasts-mastia. So literally the word means a woman's breasts. It is not uncommon among young teens who normally outgrow the condition. I never did.

I slimmed down as I became a teen. I played ball, was a life guard and a swim team coach. Still I had larger breasts than belonged on a 6-foot tall, 160-pound boy. Later in life, as I embraced my femininity, I liked how I could create the appearance of my larger breasts with padding and a push-up bra. 

I started hormone treatment 18 months ago with an endocrinologist who specializes in the treatment of transgender patients. I did blood tests prior to my first appointment. The tests showed me to be healthy and an acceptable patient for gender affirming medications. 

I had heart stints implanted about 8 years earlier. She asked if I would be comfortable giving myself shots. I told her that I would not have problems. In years past, estrogen injections were given in the buttock or thigh. Now they are suggesting that the shots be given in the stomach. The needles are much smaller for stomach injecting.

I didn’t realize how large my breast were becoming. There were signs that I needed to start wearing a bra. I have become friends with some ladies that own a Thai massage place. I couldn’t get comfortable while laying on my stomach for a massage. Rainey, my massage therapist, began offering me a pillow that could be placed just below my breasts to help support my body weight.

Rainey and Pailin, the massage place owner, saw me walking towards their entrance one afternoon. I was wearing some gym shorts and a loose tee shirt. Pailin gave me a hug and said “Miss JJ, you need to be wearing a bra. You have grown too big for free-range titties.”

My trainer owns the gym and has been my closest friend for over 15 years. I started working out with her about the same time as I started taking estrogen. She has me do a certain weight lifting move and tells me, “This is good for keeping our boobies high and firm” or “This will shape your upper back for when you wear a gown cut low in the back” or, when reminding me to keep my posture upright, will say “Stick those boobs out. You grew them, now show them off.”

There have been other areas of my body that became more feminine over the last year plus. Body hair has ceased to grow. My skin is smoother and a small layer of fat has made my face more attractive. I am even starting to see some growth in my butt. My golfing friends had given the nickname “Bayer” (as in Bayer aspirins) because my butt had two flat sides with a crack down the middle. 

I was wearing a 38B bra when I had my quarterly visit with the endocrinologist. “Your breasts really love estrogen,” she stated. “It looks like you are a D cup.” This caught me by surprise. 

At her suggestion, I stopped at Soma for a bra-fitting. I asked one of the fitters if she would help me find a bra that fit. She wrapped a cloth tape around me just below the breasts and a second one over the fullest part. “You are a 40DD,” the fitter proclaimed. “Your band is 39 inches which we round up to 40 and the fullest part of your breast is 43 ½. Let’s start with a 40DD and 40D and see if we can find your perfect bra.” 

I knew my breasts were growing. They hurt at times and I had to start wearing a sports bra to keep them from bouncing around when I worked out. I couldn't wrap my head around being a D cup. In retrospect, I believe my impression of what constituted a D cup was from women with a 34-inch band and D cups. There was a more pronounced cleavage. My breasts are fuller on the outside and bottom and there is a bigger area between breasts because my rib cage is larger.

The fitter had me remove my top and gave me two bras in a 40DD. I tried the first one on. She had me turn around and she adjusted the straps. To my great surprise it fit! There was too much room in the second bra but she returned with a 40D and it fit perfectly. The cups were filled to the brim with my own living flesh. That night I removed over a dozen bras that I had bought over the years online. None of them were in the vicinity of the right size. I donated them to a women’s shelter the next day.

I was also seeing my primary care doctor and her nutritionist to lose weight. I had packed on the pounds when I quit smoking. I have lost nearly 20% of my weight and am down within 8 pounds of the weight goal that I had set with the input of the nutritionist 

My primary care doctor knew I was taking estrogen. I went in for my annual wellness exam. “You’ve lost all this weight and your breasts are still much larger than last year,” she remarked. She palpated my breasts as part the exam and said, “I want to schedule you for a diagnostic mammogram, a breast ultrasound and a bone scan. I don't suspect anything is wrong, but we need a baseline.”

Part 2 of Jeanette’s “My Life with Breasts” will appear here tomorrow.

Wearing Boston Proper

Artur Chamski femulating Irene-Santor onn Polish television’s Your Face Sounds Familiar (Twoja Twarz Brzmi Znajomo).