A Bad Day En Femme

By Norah Blucher

We’ve all seen the little cartoon of “A Bad Day En Femme,” and I think it has been on Femulate a few times as well. The drawing depicts a damsel in distress besides a broken or smashed up car and sometimes even stating “it is still better than a good day at work.” The cartoon always makes me laugh.

It also fills me with dread though, as that was always my worst fear of going out. I’ve logged a few thousand miles behind the wheel as Norah and I know the day will come when something goes wrong. What would I do? Would I have a chance to change? Would I just go with it? A right many questions for sure.

That was until I met my friend Tiffany. At a recent outing, Tiffany brought up her worst outing, and I listened intently as she described her experience through my own worst nightmare as the beautiful damsel in distress we have all seen depicted. She agreed to let me share her story, as long as I wrote it, so what follows is what happened to her on a very bad day en femme a few years ago.

One “Smashing” Evening

Tiffany was all dolled-up and off to an evening outing with friends. Her clothes and shoes selected with care, her hair done to perfection, she was all set for a great night out on the town in Massachusetts. Off on her way, little did she know what a “smashing” night out to remember this would be.

Heading down the highway, a vehicle drifted across the line and Tiffany’s car was struck in front by a large truck causing her to spin across the road and smash the back side of her car. Air bags deployed, it all happened so fast that she was left in a bit of a daze for a brief time. Tiffany, most thankfully, was unhurt except for a scrape on her left palm from the airbag, but as she regained her composure, thoughts raced through her head.

What do I do? She thought. She had an emergency change of clothes with her, but was there time to change quickly? Funny how given the circumstances, her first thought was being caught out en femme. I can’t say I would have been different though, as we all often live in fear that being found out would be the worst thing ever. 

Her mind raced a few seconds before she smartly realized she was still in the middle of the highway and needed to get to safety, which is what she did. With little choice at this point, Tiffany resigned that she would just have to deal with the situation as she was and prepare for the worst.

Here Comes the Calvary

It was not long before a host of first responders descended upon the scene. State Police officers, firefighters, EMS personnel and a tow truck driver all turned out to the scene of Tiffany’s accident, but their response was a bit unexpected for her. No one snickered and no onlookers stopped to see the femulator on the side of the road. 

As she described it, the situation was handled with complete professional demeanor. They all ensured she was okay and took her license and paperwork, and got a brief statement from her with no mention whatsoever about being out as Tiffany. The truck that struck her was some distance ahead on the side of the road and the police did the same for the other driver and gave each driver the other’s information.

The large truck was still operable, though the same could not be said for Tiffany’s car,and in short order the tow truck was taking her car away from the scene, as well as Tiffany herself. Tow trucks, if you have ever dealt with them, can usually not take you home, but are obligated to get you to a safe place if necessary. In this case they took Tiffany’s car to a garage and deposited her at a local shopping center off the highway, where she was able to call for an Uber ride home.

The Damage Report

Tiffany’s night out was certainly ruined, but it could have been so much more dreadful and she was very thankful for that. In the end, she blames herself for the whole ordeal and was glad it turned out okay. It was also a surprise in some regards that the whole situation was not the hugely embarrassing ordeal we all (myself included) would have expected. No one cared that she was dressed as a woman and she was treated with the courtesy and respect anyone would expect and deserves.

Though no one ever wants to be in this situation to find out for themselves, Tiffany’s ordeal gave me a sense of relief and I felt it important to share, as I hope it does for you as well. Though we must always be careful, perhaps a bit more so than others even, calamities of life will always happen and we cannot let the fear of those things keep us inside. We sometimes fill our heads with our own fear and forget we are not the first femulator to break down, have an accident or get a flat tire. Tiffany and I even joked that with a flat tire or anything else, we might get help quicker en femme than we would otherwise as well, LOL.

So, loves, I hope this was a good story for you all, and questions or comments are always welcome below or you can e-mail me at nblucher at-sign proton dot me. I will also relay any messages to Tiffany as well. I’d love to hear about your worst experience en femme and how you got through it, so please share!

Wearing Michael Kors Collection cape and skirt, TOTEME boots, FENDI bag.

Deepak Subramanya femulating in the 2024 Indian film Mr. Rani.