Personally, it never even occurred to me to use the men’s room when I’m presenting as a woman. That option simply didn’t exist in my mind. But over time, I’ve learned that I may be in the minority. Some femulators either use the men’s room or avoid the issue entirely by holding it until they get home. Family restrooms can be a solution, but as we all know, they’re not always available when you need them.
There’s also the legal landscape to consider. In some states, it is illegal for a male to use the ladies’ room. Here in Connecticut, I’m fine. But I’ve traveled to other states, unaware of their laws, and used the ladies’ room without incident. Maybe I pass well enough. Or maybe I’ve just been lucky.
Still, here’s something worth thinking about. When a woman enters a restroom, she does not expect to encounter a man. So if she sees someone dressed and presenting as a woman, she accepts that at face value. There’s no reason for suspicion—unless, of course, something breaks the illusion.
In fact, I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve been in a ladies’ room and another woman has struck up a conversation with me. In those moments, it’s clear: she sees me as just another woman freshening up. No questions asked.
And so it goes.
UPDATE: This post moved Micki Finn to address the subject on her blog. Click here to read it.
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| Wearing Paige |
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| Renato Pozzetto (left) femulating in the Italian film Gran Bollito (Black Journal). Click here to view this film on YouTube. (This film has lots of crossdressing!) |
Stana, I am with you. After the first couple of times, no second thoughts. I have been to plays and other live theater where I had to use the restroom at intermission and never had a problem. Of course, I have used at other places that were less crowded like restaurants and the airport.
ReplyDeleteAfter my first venture into the Ladies Room, it became easier every time. However, circumstances change. Here in WA we're still ok, but Idaho just passed legislation stating that a person can only use the restroom that matches their birth gender. Our trans sisters are facing possible jail time for using the Ladies Room.
ReplyDeleteand that is crazy, especially for postops.
DeleteI have only had one second hand issue. A trans sister and I were at a gay/lesbian bar. She used the ladies room and was yelled at by some woman to get out. I held it until we left and arrived at a different establishment where I had no issues.
ReplyDeleteAs a long-transitioned female, I use the Ladies exclusively, including gym locker rooms. But one thing about women’s locker rooms. I seldom saw any woman bare her “special place “.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was exercising at my company’s exercise gym I used the women’s locker room after my “lower” surgery. Maybe it’s just me or maybe my generation but I seldom saw ANY woman wander about wearing nothing below the belt. If anything was removed from that area it was done as quickly and discreetly as possible and the replacement garment was put on as quickly as possible. I did the same. Not that I was ashamed, it was what ladies did. We acted like ladies. We sure as heck didn’t parade around “with it all hanging out”. People who took showers after exercising, did so not removing a bathrobe until they were in the shower room. We just didn’t walk around that bare.
Malls, Restaurants and even queuing up at symphony to share crowded washroom with dozens of ladies all without issue. Sometimes I get looks....but they aren't really seeing, just casual glances just as I do in that environment. British Columbia (Canada) provides for users go to facilities that match their identity. Tia
ReplyDeleteI always use the ladies room and never had an issue. Don’t linger or leer, do your business and no one has ever paid me much attention. I very rarely make the initiative to strike up a conversation, but have had others initiate many times.
ReplyDeleteI do much prefer the single room all gender restrooms I see more frequently though, at any time. Who wants to do their business listing to someone else do theirs?
I think most of these bathroom laws are initiated by misinformed people who think rapists and molesters lurk in the ladies room. Some have likely encountered us in the ladies room and never knew it!
I highly doubt anyone bent on criminal actions is changing their plans because of a bathroom law. I mean, prohibition was a resounding success and NO ONE ever speeds on the road, right?
Norah
Like you - "Maybe I pass well enough. Or maybe I’ve just been lucky." Confidence is so much a part or being out; You are what you present to be! Accept yourself and others see you that way!
ReplyDeleteI always use the ladies room. I am a woman so why not. Fortunately I have never had an issue. I think going to the men’s room is problematic. I am boycotting states that have discriminatory laws. I am “voting” with my purse!
ReplyDelete