When did you make the gender switch?

Hamvention in 2016 was one for the books—full of moments to sort through. Where to begin?

For anyone just tuning in, Hamvention is the largest amateur radio convention this side of the Arctic Circle, and I attended regularly since 1979. Over the years, I’ve built a bit of a reputation in the ham radio world—five books, more than 1,200 articles, and a lifetime in the hobby.

Since 2010, though, I’ve been attending Hamvention a little differently—presenting as a woman.

The first time was nerve-wracking. But I quickly discovered something unexpected: most people didn’t recognize me at all. I wasn’t “Stan, the writer.” I was just another middle-aged woman—perhaps a spouse helping out at a booth. In other words, I was invisible.

The only “aha” moments came when someone looked closely at my badge and connected the call sign. Those moments were rare. For the most part, I passed without question.

This year, that changed.

Hamvention selected me—Stan—for their Special Achievement Award. It didn’t take long to decide who would attend to accept it. About 30 seconds, to be exact.

The same “invisible” woman who had been walking the aisles for years would go to Dayton.

I submitted my biography and a current photo for the website and program. Which meant that anyone paying attention would see it: the award recipient they knew as Stan… now appearing as a woman.

That led to some understandable confusion. A few people assumed the organizers had made a mistake—pairing a stranger’s photo with my write-up. That part’s on me. I chose to keep the name “Stan” for two reasons: first, that’s who was nominated; and second, those accomplishments being recognized were earned under that name.

Still, for some attendees, it created a kind of double-take moment.

One interaction captured it perfectly.

Throughout the weekend, I kept crossing paths with a couple at the hotel—familiar faces from past Hamventions, though I couldn’t quite place them. We’d exchange a quick “hi” and move on.

Then Saturday evening, I was heading out to the awards dinner, dressed to the nines. The husband was outside having a smoke. I greeted him and kept walking—until I heard:

“Stan… when did you make the gender switch?”

I turned around.

There was no hostility in his voice—just curiosity. So I answered him, simply and directly.

“I’ve been reading your articles for years,” he said. “I had no idea.”

And honestly, that was the exception, not the rule.

A few people asked what name I preferred. Most didn’t ask anything at all—they just accepted me as I was, in that moment, without needing an explanation.

And it’s hard to ask for more than that.

Wearing Ann Taylor

Volker Spengler femulating in the 1978 West German film In a Year of 13 Moons.

It's Always About the Shoes!

Wearing JW Pei Lucia bag

Cross Check for James by TheAlphaSissy
Click here to watch this femulation on Deviant Art.

Mama’s Girl

Most kids, growing up, try to please their parents. If one parent isn’t around much, the effort naturally shifts to the one who is.

That’s where things can take an interesting turn. In my case, the constant presence was my mother. My father worked two jobs and most weekends to support the family. He was gone so often that one of my earliest memories is wondering who this “visitor” was when he happened to be home.

With Dad largely out of the picture, my attention—and approval-seeking—focused squarely on Mom. That’s how a boy becomes what people call a “Mama’s boy.” Add a few other variables—temperament, environment, maybe even a dash of biology—and you get something a little different.

In my case, a “Mama’s girl.”

My younger sister arrived just a year after I did. While Mom was clearly raising her as a girl, there wasn’t much effort to steer me in the opposite direction. I simply drifted alongside her, a willing passenger on what I’ve come to think of as the good ship Lollipop.

I remember one small but telling moment. Mom sewed an apron for my sister. I was instantly jealous. Without hesitation, she made one for me, too. No questions asked.

Then there was my brief ambition to become a circus clown. Lacking proper supplies, I improvised—covering my face with Mom’s cold cream to create a clown’s “white face.” When I proudly presented myself, she interpreted my effort a bit differently. Instead of a clown, she saw something closer to a little girl experimenting with makeup. She wiped off the cold cream and, this time with intention, made up my face properly.

Looking back, I don’t think she set out to encourage anything in particular. But she didn’t discourage it, either. If anything, her comments nudged things along. She’d remark on my “nice legs,” how I walked on my “tippy-toes,” as if I were made for high heels.

More than once, she said, almost casually, “You should have been a girl.”

It’s funny what sticks with you.

And so it goes.

Wearing SER.O.YA

Hanns Lothar femulating in the 1961 film One, Two, Three.

While not a great femulation, this 12-year-old was impressed when I saw this film in the early 1960s because it was the first time I saw a man dressing as a woman in a contemporary outfit.

Stuff 116: Support

By J.J.Atwell

We All Need Support

Yes, I’ve sung this song before. And here we go again. Everybody, not just our Femulate community, needs support. No, not the kind of support that shapewear provides, although that is comforting. Support in the way that helps us all and reinforces the importance of the individual. 

Some Background

Part of my being, aside from being a crossdresser, is that I’m also a veteran. I served in the army at a time when returning soldiers were often scorned or called baby killers. People looked askance at us and feared that we would do terrible things. As such, many of use retreated into ourselves and didn’t mention their time in the service. Most of us still don’t talk about those days. 

Only recently have I come to terms with those feelings. Yesterday, I went to a theme park wearing my Vietnam Veterans hat. The number of times that people thanked me for my service was gratifying. At least a dozen times over the course of four hours somebody commented. Including a couple of other brothers who also served. Every time it happened I was humbled and embarrassed, fumbling for an appropriate response. 

Why Am I Telling You This?

As I was driving home that day I realized that the support I was getting really helps me understand who and what I am. It also brought home the fact that we all need some kind of support. Giving support is just as important as getting support in our lives. With that in mind, I’m asking you to lend your support to everybody in our CD community, as well as the world as a whole. It will make us all better.

I’ll Be Back

Before my usual closing, I wanted to say that this is not some of my best writing. This is pretty raw in some areas. I had originally asked ChatGPT to suggest some things to say on the topic. Never looked at the result. Instead I just let my thoughts flow. Normally, I review and edit my writings several times before I’m satisfied with how it reads. Not this time. What you see is my raw product.

I’ll be finding more Stuff to write about. I welcome comments and suggestions here on Stana’s page or by email at Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com.

Wearing Stylewe

Mihai Trăistariu femulating Amy Winehouse on Romanian television’s Your Face Sounds Familiar.
Click here to view this femulation on YouTube.

The Operative Word

 

We Aim To Please

Not really “we”—just me. Readers send in suggestions, and I do my best to bring them to life as quickly as I can.

Just the other day, Miss Bernard wrote with a simple idea: “Could you make banners where the femulators are wearing leggings and different seasonal tops? When I’m out shopping, that’s what I wear to blend in with the other 95% of women.”

A few hours later, the new banner you now see at the top of the blog was live.

I’m not always that fast. But that particular day, I had just finished filing my income taxes—an annual ritual that practically begs for a creative escape—so I was more than happy to jump on her request.

So keep the ideas coming. If I can make them happen, I will.

And so it goes.

Wearing Boston Proper

Richard LeGrand (center) femulating in the 1943 film Gildersleeve on Broadway.

Why Do Sisters, Mothers, and Girlfriends Love to Make Over Their Brothers, Sons and Boyfriends?

Emily asked, “What motivates the ‘transformer’ to set about with the feminizing process?”

YouTube has a way of quietly noticing things about you.

Spend enough time watching makeover videos, and before long, the algorithm starts serving up a very specific genre: sisters transforming their brothers. Girlfriends transforming their boyfriends. Mothers transforming their sons. Entire playlists devoted to the art of taking a perfectly ordinary male and, with brushes, fabrics, and a little determination, revealing… something else.

At first glance, it’s easy to dismiss these videos as novelty. A gag. A quick laugh built on contrast. But watch enough of them (and I have) and a pattern begins to emerge. The question stops being what’s happening here? and becomes why does this keep happening?

Because it does. A lot.

It Usually Starts with “Sit Still, Let Me Try Something”

Most of these transformations begin innocently enough. A sister wants to practice her makeup skills. A girlfriend is curious how a certain look would translate. A mother has a son who, willingly or otherwise, becomes a convenient canvas.

There’s a kind of low-stakes creativity at work here. Makeup and fashion are tactile, visual, experimental, and having a live model who won’t take things too seriously can be oddly appealing. Brothers, in particular, occupy that perfect middle ground: accessible, familiar, and just far enough outside the usual beauty space to make the result interesting.

And let’s be honest: there’s a long, proud tradition of siblings teasing each other. This is simply a more… accessorized version of it.

Beneath the Surface: Bonding Disguised as Mischief

What looks like teasing is often something softer.

These moments can be surprisingly intimate. A sister sharing her world. A girlfriend inviting her partner into something she enjoys. A mother including her son in a ritual that is usually reserved for women.

The makeover becomes a kind of shorthand for trust. Sitting still while someone applies eyeliner requires a certain surrender. Allowing yourself to be styled, adjusted, corrected. There’s vulnerability in that, even when it’s played for laughs.

And on the other side, there’s a quiet satisfaction: Let me show you what I see. Let me create something with you.

The Not-So-Subtle Power Shift

Of course, there’s another layer and it’s hard to ignore once you notice it.

In these scenarios, the usual dynamic flips. The person holding the brush is in charge. “Close your eyes.” “Don’t move.” “Trust me.” The subject becomes just that: a subject.

Sometimes it’s playful. Sometimes it’s a little sharper.

There’s a moment, in many of these videos, when the transformation is nearly complete and the “stylist” steps back to assess her work. The tone shifts. What began as a joke starts to look… deliberate. Controlled. Almost curated.

It’s not just about makeup anymore. It’s about presentation. Authority. The subtle satisfaction of shaping how someone else appears to the world.

The Reveal: Humor, Shock, and Something Else

Then comes the reveal.

This is where the internet does what it does best, that is, zooming in on reactions. The brother looks in the mirror. There’s laughter, mock horror, sometimes genuine surprise. Occasionally, a pause. A double take.

Because here’s the twist: sometimes the result is… convincing.

That’s where the humor lands, but it’s also where something more interesting slips in. The transformation works not just because it’s unexpected, but because it’s plausible. The line between “this is ridiculous” and “this actually looks good” gets thinner than anyone anticipated.

A Quiet Shift in What’s Acceptable

It would be easy to say this is all just for clicks. And yes, the internet amplifies everything.

But these videos are also riding a broader cultural shift. Makeup is no longer exclusively coded as feminine. Fashion is loosening its rules. The idea of experimenting with appearance, once tightly policed, is now, if not fully normalized, at least widely tolerated.

What used to happen only at costume parties or in private now shows up in living rooms, recorded in high definition, and shared with millions.

And the world doesn’t end.

The Line That Matters

For all the analysis, the most important factor is the simplest one: consent.

When the dynamic is mutual, that is, when the brother is laughing, participating, maybe even a little curious, it reads as what it usually is: playful, creative, occasionally revealing.

When there’s pressure or discomfort, it feels different. You can see it immediately. What was light becomes awkward. What was bonding becomes something else entirely.

The difference isn’t subtle.

So Why Does This Keep Happening?

Because it sits at the intersection of a lot of very human impulses:

Curiosity.

Creativity.

Teasing.

Trust.

And yes, a little bit of power.

Add a camera, an audience, and the promise of a good reveal, and you have a formula that’s hard to resist.

But strip all that away, and what you’re left with is simpler than it looks:

Someone saying, “Let me try something,”

and someone else, perhaps against their better judgment, saying, “Alright. Go ahead.”

And then staying very, very still.

Wearing ELLIATT

The Bigwood Twins were a 1920s female impersonators act based in Chicago.

Tax Day Reprieve

Family Resemblance

YouTube has clearly decided it knows me. The algorithm has me pegged as a femulator, and every visit now comes with a curated parade of transformation videos lined up and waiting.

One trend I keep noticing is the “sister makes over her brother” genre. And I have to admit—some of these results are genuinely impressive. Thanks to family resemblance, the finished look can be uncanny. It makes sense: the sister is applying the same makeup techniques she uses on herself, often with the not-so-subtle goal of turning her brother into a near mirror image.

The brothers, for their part, tend to go along with it. There’s usually some initial joking—one last attempt to cling to masculinity—but it rarely lasts long. Before you know it, they’re fully made over, and more often than not, they seem to be enjoying the outcome.

Of course, the concept doesn’t stop with siblings. There are plenty of variations: girlfriends making over their boyfriends, mothers transforming their sons, wives working their magic on their husbands. Different dynamics, same basic premise.

A word of caution, though. Not everything in YouTube Land is as authentic as it looks. There’s a fair amount of staging and outright fakery mixed in. But if you’re willing to separate the wheat from the chaff, there are still plenty of genuine—and surprisingly compelling—transformations to be found.

Wearing Ann Taylor

Luis Montalbert femulating Gloria Trevi on Costa Rican television’s Tu Cara Me Suena.