Stuff 112: I Learn From You

By J.J. Atwell

I Have Far To Go

I’ve stated several times in Stuff that I’m not an expert on the subject of crossdressing. Or much else either. But your responses to over a hundred installments of Stuff have taught me a great deal. I’d like you to continue your comments. I’d also like you to continue to learn from the real world.

Be Open To Learning

Back in my grade school days I was pretty much just filling the seat. I was smart enough not to have to work hard to get good grades, but not smart enough to know that I should work hard. Outside of formal education in the real world we all learn from others. Yes, that includes the CD world. 

Learning is not a passive journey. You need to be active to learn. Do that by reading avidly and closely observing others. Don’t sit back and think you know everything about our CD selves. I guarantee that you don’t already know it all. I’m not trying to be abrasive here; I just want you to remain open to new experiences. That’s the way to learn and push the envelope.

Watch Out For Your Biases

While you are observing the world, be aware that we all have biases. You’ll find biases in yourself. In your friends and family. In the community. In general. And in the stuff you read here on the internet. Yes, including my Stuff. 

In 1927, Werner Heisenberg observed that the act of observing a subject has an impact on the activity being observed. Well, that’s my layman’s interpretation of it anyway. The actual Heisenberg Principle is a bit more technical. What does that have to do with today’s Stuff? I’m sure my observation of the CD world is subject to my biases. Thus, I need a Heisenberg Compensator. (Yes, that’s a Star Trek reference.) While learning by observation, being aware of your bias is your Heisenberg Compensator.

Self-Reflection

Learning by watching others is only your first step, You need to think about what made a particular outfit on a GG or CD particularly striking. Please remember that blind imitation may not generate the same result for you. Your shape, coloring, size and stature are unique, so what works for others should be instructive, not definitive. Thoughtful integration—adapting observed behaviors to our unique personality and goals—is what creates meaningful development.

We are always learning, even when we are not trying. The corollary is that we are always teaching as well. Our everyday actions—how we treat others, how we respond to stress, how we pursue goals serve as lessons for those observing us. Remember that others are learning from us and be careful about what example we are setting.

Sorry For the Rambling

OK so today was a pretty esoteric journey into the land of learning,with a detour through Start Trek. Not quite my usual Stuff, but thanks for paying attention. Be mindful of your biases while you learn about the CD world no matter what the source. Apply what you learned in ways that are appropriate for you and your life. Live long and prosper.

I’ll Be Back

The image at the top of today’s Stuff was generated by ChatGPT based on a recent picture of me with the instruction to ChatGPT that it should show me learning from you. I’ll be back with more Stuff in the next installment. Comments are welcome either here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com. JJ is always looking for more stuff so let me know what you would like to read about.

Wearing Stylewe

Libor Landa femulating in the 2003 Czech film Kamenak.
Click here to view this film on YouTube.

Today...

Today is International Women's Day

Today is International Women's Day.

As we prepare to celebrate International Women’s Day, our resolve to keep pushing for gender equality is stronger than ever. And we won’t stop until girls and women are equal everywhere.

That’s because equality is her birthright, enshrined in the UN Charter, but it isn’t her reality. Despite some progress, there is no place or part of life where a girl or woman has the equal rights or opportunities as a boy or man.

As a male woman, I am very sympathetic to these goals. While some might say that I possess “male privilege,” I would argue that male women are often treated worse than cisgender women, and I share the same yearning for equality that women seek.

Even when I lived much of my life disguised as a male, my natural femininity marked me as something less than a man, and I was treated accordingly by both men and women.

Living openly as a male woman has been an improvement. Being able to live as my true self, many women seem to embrace me as someone who has joined their team. At the same time, some men treat me even more poorly than they did when I was in my male disguise. I am sure many male women have had similar experiences and, like me, long for genuine gender equality.

Today is My Day

I turn 75 today and my family is throwing a party to celebrate the event. I am looking forward to the party, but something is missing. We will be celebrating my 75 years as a male – most of the attendees are not aware of my feminine side, so that side of me goes uncelebrated.

I have no interest in coming out to those who do not know. They are my nearest and dearest friends and relatives and I do not want to lose any of them if they react badly to my reveal. As it is, as we age our numbers are dwindling, so I do not want to lose anyone because of my “hobby.”

I will celebrate my feminine side alone. As in the past, I self-gifted my feminine side and will have a nice day out en femme real soon now.

And so it goes.

Wearing ModCloth

Rocker Pete Doherty

AI: At It Again

I enjoy creating images with AI, and recently I started using it to perform femulations on male actors—transforming leading men into leading ladies.

The results have been mixed. Some of the women turn out gorgeous, while others pass, but they’re far from stunning.

In any case, here are three who definitely land on the gorgeous side of the fence.

Ms. Ben Affleck

Ms. Martin Landau

Ms. Robert Taylor

It’s all Robert Taylor’s fault! I was watching one of his films on TCM and noticed what a very pretty man he was. That got me wondering how he might look en femme.

So I found a photo of Robert online and asked AI to femulate it. The result, shown above, was so good that it inspired me to create more.

And so it goes.

Wearing Stylewe

Mickey Rooney femulating Mae West

Covering the Spread

Wearing Crosby by Mollie Burch

Peter Farrer, a “crossdressing authority” (Wikipedia)

When Men Dressing Like Women Stops Matter­ing

I asked an AI to explore what society would be like if men could wear womenswear as freely as women wear menswear today. Here is its response.

If men wearing womenswear were as socially acceptable as women wearing menswear, the change wouldn’t be loud or revolutionary—it would be quiet, structural, and deeply normalizing. The most important shift wouldn’t be clothing itself, but what clothing would stop signaling.

Below is what that society would likely look like, step by step.

1. Clothing would lose its moral charge

Today, womenswear on men is still read as transgressive—sexual, comedic, political, or identity-defining. In a normalized society, that interpretation collapses.

• A man in a skirt would register the way a woman in trousers does now: a style choice, not a statement.
• No automatic assumptions about sexuality, gender identity, or psychology.
• The question wouldn’t be “why is he wearing that?” but “is it appropriate for the weather or setting?”

This mirrors what happened when women adopted suits, jeans, and workwear: the shock faded, the meaning drained away.

2. Masculinity would become less brittle

Right now, masculinity is fragile because it is defined by exclusion—what men must not do, wear, or enjoy.

If menswear and womenswear fully overlapped:

• Masculinity would shift from policing appearance to describing behavior and character.
• Men would no longer need visual armor (uniforms of toughness) to be taken seriously.
• Emotional expressiveness and aesthetic interest would feel less risky.

In short: masculinity wouldn’t disappear—it would relax.

3. Professional life would quietly adapt

The workplace is where this normalization would matter most.

• Office dress codes would pivot from gendered rules to function-based standards (formality, safety, branding).
• A man in a blouse or skirt would be judged on performance, not “credibility.”
• Power dressing would diversify: authority would no longer be tied to a narrow male silhouette.

This would echo how women once had to dress “like men” to be taken seriously—except now, seriousness wouldn’t depend on gender mimicry at all.

4. Fashion would become more innovative—and more boring

Paradoxically, acceptance produces both creativity and ordinariness.

• Designers would stop marketing womenswear-for-men as edgy or subversive.
• Retail would reorganize around body shape, fit, and style, not gender labels.
• Many men would experiment briefly—and then settle into very normal looks.

Just as most women didn’t start wearing tuxedos daily once allowed, most men wouldn’t suddenly live in gowns. Normalization reduces spectacle.

5. Social anxiety around gender would drop

A major driver of modern gender conflict is symbolic panic—the fear that visible change equals social collapse.

In a society where clothing crossover is settled:

• Parents wouldn’t panic over sons in dresses any more than daughters in pants.
• Media outrage cycles would lose fuel.
• Gender expression would feel less like a battlefield and more like a spectrum of taste.

When symbols stop being forbidden, they stop being powerful.

6. Relationships would rebalance subtly

Heterosexual, gay, and queer relationships would all shift—but quietly.

• Straight men would feel less pressure to perform dominance through appearance.
• Partners could negotiate attraction more honestly, without rigid scripts.
• Power dynamics would rely more on economics, personality, and emotional labor—not visual gender cues.

Importantly: attraction wouldn’t vanish or homogenize. It would individualize.

7. What wouldn’t happen (common fears)

It’s worth being blunt about this.

• Men would not “become women.”
• Gender would not disappear.
• Society would not lose structure or coherence.
• Most people would still dress conventionally most of the time.

What would disappear is the idea that clothing is a reliable shorthand for worth, strength, or legitimacy.

Bottom line

A society where men can wear womenswear as freely as women wear menswear would not be chaotic or radical. It would be less anxious.

Less symbolic panic.

Less fragile masculinity.

Less obsession with policing appearances.

And more room for people—men included—to exist without constantly proving what they are not.

Wearing Rue La La

Paul Gross femulating on television’s Due South.
Click here to view this femulation on YouTube.

Stuff 111: Getting Ma’am‘d

By J.J. Atwell

Pronouns Again

I’ve written about pronouns in several installments of Stuff. Basically my point was to use the appropriate pronoun for the way you or others are presenting. You’ve heard the saying that if it looks like a duck and sounds like a duck, then it is a duck. Loosely that’s how we should deal with crossdressers and others on the T spectrum. While we might not all sound like women (duck), we certainly try to look like one. So go ahead and call them one. 

Affirmation

Having the right pronouns used for you when en femme is affirmation. People recognize that you appear female and treat you that way. Now we could go into a whole other discussion about the positives and negatives of being a female in today’s world, but I’ll save that for a different installment of Stuff. In the meantime, we will take a win where we can get it.

Today, I’d rather focus on the high of being addressed as “ma’am” or “ladies” when you are out dressed. I’m fortunate enough to be a part of an active group of “T” people who get together monthly for outings. Many of those outings are at local restaurants and I always get a small thrill at being addressed with female pronouns by the waitstaff. Even though our group members have varying levels of “passability,” to turn a phrase, I have no doubt that we do get clocked. The fact that we are accepted at face value is the point of this story. Oh, and yes, they do get a nicer tip for doing that. 

Each Other

When I am dressed and talking or texting with another sister in our group, I always use female names and pronouns. That’s just polite. Occasionally we also meet each other in guy mode. In those cases, we use male names and pronouns. Except (yes, there is an except) when in guy mode and we are talking about being out in girl mode, we seem to slip back and forth between the male and female terms. It can get confusing if you aren’t closely following the conversation. Maybe like this section of Stuff? 

Picture three CDs who aren’t currently dressed sitting in a bar having a beverage while planning some future group outings. There we are apparently doing typically guy things to outsiders glancing our way. But we are quietly talking about what our female side might do or wear for a particular outing. Do we use male or female terms? Yes, we use both. Yes, the CD world can be confusing. And so can my writings. 

I’ll Be Back

The image at the top of today’s Stuff is a ChatGPT enhanced version of me at a recent GNO. As always, comments are welcome either here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com. JJ is always looking for more stuff, so if there is something you would like to read about, please let me know!

Wearing Ann Taylor

Nancy Mary Out and About