Only me?
I like to sing solo. So low you can’t hear me. Sorry for that bad joke, but when I go out it’s not solo. Instead of going out solo I usually have a “wing girl.” You’ve probably heard the term, it’s the feminine version of “wing man.”
I know that there is a broad spectrum of people reading this musing. Some of you don’t go out. Some of you go out on your own. Others go out with friends. Thinking about the times I’ve gone out dressed, I almost always have a wing girl with me. Sometimes my wing girl is another CD. Sometimes it’s a GG.
When going to meets of my local CD group, we all are there to look out for each other. But we still need to get to and from the meeting, so I could be solo on that part of the evening. Recently, my SO and another couple have joined us on these outings, so even in the car I’ve still got a wing girl.
What does a wing girl do?
In addition to sharing the experience of being out in public, having a wing girl helps the CD in several ways. The GGs are very helpful to follow to develop your girl personality. That is how and what you do in a particular situation. In other words, they can show the right way to act. They can also be a buffer and deflect unwanted attention.
The other CDs are also good wing girls, too. Having somebody else along, especially somebody who has been out more frequently, is a huge prop. You gain confidence and each gives the other emotional support if needed. It’s great for your own self-esteem. And you do the same for them as well.
I’ll be back
As always comments are welcome either here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com. JJ is always looking for more stuff, so if there is something you would like to read about please let me know!
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| Wearing Boston Proper |
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| Stanley Baxter femulating in British television’s Stanley Baxter's Christmas Box in 1976, |
For me the concept of a wing girl is foreign to me. With all the replies I have made you can gather that I present en femme all the time. I hang out with people of my church and my local amateur radio club, which is mostly men. Also, I don't associate with any CD groups. As far as singing I sing second bass in my church choir. And people respect me.
ReplyDeleteJohn
In a once in a lifetime experience, I was asked to be another lesbian friend's "wing person" at a mixer we went to. It was scary but exciting and I was not successful in getting my friend a phone number.
ReplyDeleteI prefer having a "wing girl", mostly because I'm a very social being and love having someone to share the experience with me. I have gone out solo, but it lessens the experience for me. I have a coterie of 4 Friends who know and support Julie, but they all have lives and jobs and stuff. When I have time to go out, they're not always available. So it's either go solo or don't go at all. And honestly, there have been times when I seriously considered not going out at all because I was feeling so lonely. (Sorry, you touched on a nerve here)
ReplyDeleteJulie, you are so right. For years, loneliness was always an issue as we struggled to keep secrets and for fear of getting caught and ruining relationships. So we live in a solo world and through the internet we found our tribe, thanks to Stana and others of course. An AI wing girl wont help in the real world but if it could analyze a picture and say “ my doll, go with the 3 inch sandal and the blue dress” then AI wing girl works for me. Problem is the algorithm is for Stana Short all the time and skipping pant suits. Hugs Brenda
DeleteI've been out a number of times solo, but it's always more fun with a wing girl! Someone to share the time, event, or meal with is so enjoyable! I have found that being in our group setting is good. However, my most favorite times have been with a wing girl or two (you know who I mean)! Keep this Stuff coming, JJ!
ReplyDeleteThe great Scottish comedian Stanley Baxter sometimes used to femulate our late Queen.
ReplyDeletePenny from Edinburgh.
Hi JJ!
ReplyDeleteI agree with others that in a social setting like going out to eat or something, it is much more fun, but by default most of my time en femme is solo.
Not that it is dreadful though, as I have learned that the smaller your group is or solo, makes you more approachable and leads to much more interaction with the world.
Having a wing girl opens up a right many more options at times though. Traveling alone, I’ve learned women have to be extra cautious. There have been times when I choose not to go to a certain restaurant or pump petrol at a station because I did not feel comfortable as a solo woman, yet as male or even with another girl I would have felt fine. Women have to play the world with a different set of rules than blokes, but I still find the payout worth it in the end.
Norah
The joke originated in Disneyland Enchanted Tiki Room!
ReplyDeleteYes it did! I was just there JJ
DeleteI have flown solo pretty much my whole life. I have battled presentation self doubt so many times that has limited me to avoid out and abouts. Later as i had a chance to be travelling for work it did allow me “my time” but in environments I was at times not comfortable with my personal safety for out and abouts. No issues with malls or Targets but walks were at times scary. I did enjoy a dinner out with others through a local CD group that was so much fun. Safety in numbers. I met an FBI agent once in the hotel lobby bar who gave me male advice on ATM and gas station safety that for a while kept me inside my hotel room walking in circles in heels. The US has become more violent over the years and the same with Canada especially with defund the police efforts , free drug clinics, and a bail system that allows sexual rapists to be out on bail raping the next day with no worry. This just means I need to present as best I can, be more feminine in my ways, alert at all times and enjoy being in the moment without fear. 20 yrs ago I was still afraid but it was for being read as a fraud and still today it is the same but I have had so many wonderful times and experiences and we are tolerated more today but also at times targetted even more due to bad press and PR. Hugs Brenda,,,,,,,,personal safety is a concern for everone
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