Stuff 111: Getting Ma’am‘d

By J.J. Atwell

Pronouns Again

I’ve written about pronouns in several installments of Stuff. Basically my point was to use the appropriate pronoun for the way you or others are presenting. You’ve heard the saying that if it looks like a duck and sounds like a duck, then it is a duck. Loosely that’s how we should deal with crossdressers and others on the T spectrum. While we might not all sound like women (duck), we certainly try to look like one. So go ahead and call them one. 

Affirmation

Having the right pronouns used for you when en femme is affirmation. People recognize that you appear female and treat you that way. Now we could go into a whole other discussion about the positives and negatives of being a female in today’s world, but I’ll save that for a different installment of Stuff. In the meantime, we will take a win where we can get it.

Today, I’d rather focus on the high of being addressed as “ma’am” or “ladies” when you are out dressed. I’m fortunate enough to be a part of an active group of “T” people who get together monthly for outings. Many of those outings are at local restaurants and I always get a small thrill at being addressed with female pronouns by the waitstaff. Even though our group members have varying levels of “passability,” to turn a phrase, I have no doubt that we do get clocked. The fact that we are accepted at face value is the point of this story. Oh, and yes, they do get a nicer tip for doing that. 

Each Other

When I am dressed and talking or texting with another sister in our group, I always use female names and pronouns. That’s just polite. Occasionally we also meet each other in guy mode. In those cases, we use male names and pronouns. Except (yes, there is an except) when in guy mode and we are talking about being out in girl mode, we seem to slip back and forth between the male and female terms. It can get confusing if you aren’t closely following the conversation. Maybe like this section of Stuff? 

Picture three CDs who aren’t currently dressed sitting in a bar having a beverage while planning some future group outings. There we are apparently doing typically guy things to outsiders glancing our way. But we are quietly talking about what our female side might do or wear for a particular outing. Do we use male or female terms? Yes, we use both. Yes, the CD world can be confusing. And so can my writings. 

I’ll Be Back

The image at the top of today’s Stuff is a ChatGPT enhanced version of me at a recent GNO. As always, comments are welcome either here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com. JJ is always looking for more stuff, so if there is something you would like to read about, please let me know!

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