By J.J. Atwell
You may recall the start of Charles Dickens novel A Tale of Two Cities about the French Revolution. The full quote is “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” I was reminded of that quote as I sat down to write about two recent Saturday experiences. But be cheered, that other Saturday wasn’t actually a worst experience. Just a very different one. Both Saturdays involved going out to eat, one as JJ, the other as my guy self.
Getting Ready
In the past, I’ve observed that it takes women longer to get ready to go out than guys typically do. You’ve probably noted that as well. Did you ever think about how much time it takes you as a CD (substitute your preferred term) to get ready to go out to a nice restaurant? I have and the difference between guy mode and girl mode is striking.
When I go out in girl mode it takes about 2.5 hours to get ready. That’s timed from shower to packing my bag and heading out. I know that’s a long time, but there is so much to do.
Obviously starting out with a clean slate is important, so the shower and shave takes a bit more time. I know I have to shave my face twice plus having to pay attention to legs, arms and armpits. Then I need to cool off for a bit before getting into shapewear and starting my makeup. I still don’t have a good makeup routine, so I spend a lot of time trying different shades of foundation and blusher on my face. Not to mention working on the eyes, which is my big fail. Once done with that I can start to dress and figure out what jewelry best compliments the look. Add the shoes and the bag. Then it’s time to put on the wig and fuss with it to make it look best. Oh yes, and the press-on nails take me 5 to 10 minutes.
When I go out as my guy self it takes about 30 minutes from shower/shave to out the door. That might actually be overstating it. Basically, it’s just putting on a dress shirt and nicely pressed pants, along with shoes that are fairly dressy. Brush my hair so it’s tidy and perhaps a spritz of cologne. Make sure I’ve got my wallet and keys in my pockets. Not much more is needed.
Who Do We Dress For?
I have an ongoing correspondence with a GG follower of Stuff about the difference is how women approach getting dressed to go out and how men do. I regularly go out to some nice restaurants in guy mode. I try to up my game in the guy wardrobe department when I do that. But when sitting in the restaurant and looking around the room I’m amused by the difference in dress of some couples. What I often see is that the woman has taken pains to dress nicely, but the guy has perhaps thrown on a clean shirt. It makes you wonder if they even talked about where they were going ahead of time and if they were on the same page as to how nice the venue was.
That brings up the question of who women dress for. Do they dress to impress their male admirers? Or do they dress to impress other women? Both? Talking with my friend Gigi, it seems that grooming standards are significantly different between men and women. We speculated that women regularly get judged by other women. They recognize when a woman has taken the time to consider what to wear and how to accessorize. It seems that guys don’t typically noice those little things, unless you are wearing a hat of a favorite sports team.
Since women have so many more options when getting dressed they unfortunately have many more chances to get it “wrong.” Sometimes you wonder if a woman has a mirror in their house or a good friend who will say “you’re not wearing that.” Other times you see a woman who has it nailed. Everything just works. The outfit is approbate for their body, their hair and makeup is tasteful and their shoes and bag are all coordinated. But who notices it more, men or women? Or maybe a CD?
I’ll Be Back
As always comments are welcome either here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com. JJ is always looking for more stuff so if there is something you would like to read about, please let me know.
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| Wearing Bebe |
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| Tam Williams femulating in British televison’s A Touch of Frost. Click here to view this femulation on YouTube. |
Tam Williams,son of veteran British actor Simon Williams,played this part - Michael/Michelle - brilliantly and very convincingly.The episode is entitled In The Public Interest and is available on You Tube.
ReplyDeleteHi JJ, “ Everything just works. The outfit is approbate for their body, their hair and makeup is tasteful and their shoes and bag are all coordinated. But who notices it more, men or women? Or maybe a CD?…….i strive for that and I think we all do to be ourselves but hold ourselves to a certain image of presentation.i am constantly observant of what works but many times. What does not work is lack of motivation to be your best. If I get read at the mall, I hope they can say…”Wow she looks good and put thought in her outfit and the dress looks good on her……nice legs too but she is a he and had me fooled for a moment” and I can slide under the radar by wearing a kitten heel and walk normally rather than wearing red 5 inch heels tottering around. I had a rare chance to go out and about in the pandemonium and chose to go grocery shopping instead. No one really pays much attention to you when you fit in which is exactly what we want and thats to be ourselves without fear. But are Uggs feminine?
ReplyDeleteThanks for this comment! An interesting perspective and I like the point about nobody paying much attention when you fit in.
Delete" are Uggs feminine?" Gasp! One of my least favorite current (or past) femme fads. Along with Crocks, I don't have any interest in that footwear.
If I am going out in public en femme I always go to a salon or crossdresser transformation specialist. I need extra help to get even close to passing, If I do my own makeup I don't have the benefit of other pairs of eyes judging my transformation,, which makes a huge difference. Therefore, from door to door, leaving my house, going to a salon or CD service, getting dressed there, getting transformed and out that door, can easily take three hours, and four hours if I go a nail salon for a mani-pedi, which I usualy do when en femme, This does not include travel time.
ReplyDeleteMale mode takes 20 minutes, including shower and shave.
Thanks for the comment Tami! If I had the time/resources to go out to a Salon or CD specialist, I'd certainly do it. At least to get a good idea as to what works best for me. In fact, I have had a couple of makeovers at Sephora but that was a couple of years ago. It's still on my list though for a future outing. JJ
DeleteOn Sunday mornings I wear either a man's coat and tie outfit or a dress with heels, earrings, and makeup. I ALWAYS have painted nails. I'm tired of seeing people of both genders wearing jeans and sneakers.
ReplyDeleteI'm not talking about some low "non-denominational" church but a high liturgical church where the priest wears a chasuble and the choir members (I'm one of them as a bass) wear cassocks and surplices.
On an everyday basis I wear dresses. Even though I speak with my bass voice (deeper than baritone) I frequently get read as a woman.
John
"Who dresses for who?" has always been a question. I wonder if there was a legitimate poll taken of who watches Vanna White of "Wheel of Fortune" fame and for what reason, you'd find, men like me watch to see what beautiful clothes she is wearing every night. An aging 68 year old man would love to look like her and wear those clothes every evening. Retirement years could be terrific. But, for most, it is not to be.
ReplyDeleteYour Vanna White comment is much like my morning weather ritual: turn on the TV to figure out what to wear that day, and as I see the lovely local meteorologist in her dress and heels I say "I would like to wear that!" I'm sure I'm not the only one looking not just for a weather forecast, but also for outfit ideas.
Delete