10 Years Ago Today

Ten years ago today, I had one of my best Halloween experiences going to work en femme. I documented that day with a “live blog,” that is, I added to my Halloween blog post throughout the day as things happened (or did not happen). Here is a repost of that wonderful day.

8:03 AM Post:

Up at 5 AM. Took care of the menagerie and began the transformation at 5:35

I took my time doing my makeup (slow, but steady), so it took a little longer getting ready.

Out the door at 7:05 and I arrived at work at 7:40.

Although I only mentioned that I would be a woman at work to my boss, no one is surprised and expected me to do it.

8:30 AM Post:

When I walked in the building this morning, I asked our receptionist to take some photos. Here is one:

8:45 AM Post:

Three people noticed that I am wearing a new wig!

8:48 AM Post:

The receptionist just called me “Staci,” which is the name I used before switching to Stana. She also asked me how I tied my scarf and I gladly showed her.

9:15 AM Post:

There is a bit of a lull here, so here is another photo (sans glasses and cape) taken by the guy who sits in a cube adjacent to me. Instead of an iPhone, he used a Canon digital SLR camera.

10:05 AM Post:

I just attended a “gemba” (reps from various departments stand in a circle and update the group about the status of a project). The Director of Engineering ran this gemba and called me “Caitlyn.” He is always impressed with my “costume” and was impressed again this year.

A few other people did wear costumes today. 

10:20 AM Post:

A number of women complimented me on my outfit and they love my shoes (I do, too)! They are also amazed on how well I navigate in them... just like a woman.

I bought these shoes from Nine West two years ago, but I never had the opportunity to wear them until now because I did not have an outfit that went with them.

So far, they have been very comfortable despite their 4-inch heel.

11:05 AM Post:

Going to Dress Barn in a little while. The sales associates wanted to see how the dress they sold me on Monday looks on me today.

12:35 PM Post:

I went to Dress Barn and the sales associates who sold me the dress on Monday were not in the store; they work later in the day today.

Not to waste a Dress Barn visit, I browsed the racks and took a half dozen items to the dressing room. Some things looked and fit better than others. 

One dress fit perfectly and looked great: a simple figure-hugging black sheath dress with a gold front zipper that makes the dress. I bought the dress and returned to work.

1:00 PM Post:

As I got ready to leave Dress Barn, my feet started complaining loudly and when I got to my car, I switched to my black medium height wedges. 

1:15 PM Post:

Another lull, so it is time for another photo. My boss' boss took this one on her iPhone as I stood in her office doorway. 

1:53 PM Post:

It is very quiet here. Friday afternoon and things are winding down.

I am very tired. I went to bed late watching the Patriots, got up early to femulate and did not sleep that well in-between because I was excited about today. 

One of my biggest fans here just stopped in to ask me how it is going. He goes out of his way to use the proper pronouns when I am a woman and he once said that I missed my calling and should have been a professional female impersonator.

2:50 PM Post:

This will probably be my last live post for awhile because I am leaving work and going to the mall to shop for a new evening gown. My next post will probably be from home this evening.

7:30 PM Post:

I was successful at Macy's at the mall. I bought a Connected sequin-lace cowl-neck sheath in purple. The photo on the website does not do the dress justice; the sequin is not apparent in the photo, but it makes the dress in person.

My feet had recovered by the time I arrived at the mall and I switched back to heels for my mall tour.

I am going to bed early tonight. I am exhausted!

∞ ∞ ∞

The day-after post was an addendum to my live blog post, so in order to tell the whole story here it is.

I received a lot of positive comments about doing the live blog on Friday and plan to do it again if the opportunity arises and it makes sense to do it. Internet access is the key to doing it successfully, so doing it at work was a perfect scenario.

∞ ∞ ∞

Most of the live blog posts were short and I want to expand on what I wrote on Friday, so here goes!

∞ ∞ ∞

In the 10:05 AM Post, I mentioned attending a “gemba.”  When it was my turn to speak, I said “I had nothing” because I had no news regarding my part of the project under discussion. 

The moderator of the gemba, our Director of Engineering, asked me, “Are you sure there’s nothing you want to add?” 

Knowing him as long as I have, I am sure he was teasing me about my “costume.”

Anyway, after a long pause, I said, “No,” but after I thought about it, I wish I had said, “I guess you all figured out by now that I am transgender.” 

That would have been a gemba they would be talking about for years to come!

∞ ∞ ∞

When I went to show myself to my boss, I found her in her boss’s office (my boss and her boss are women and both know I am transgender, but now that I think about it, I bet that they don’t know that the other one knows because I came out to them separately).

Anyway, they were both wild about my “costume” and my boss’s boss blurted out, “You look better than (my boss)!”

I did not notice my boss’s reaction, but I think my boss’s boss might regret what she said. 

The truth is that although my boss is pretty and is about 10 years younger, I think I can modestly say that I compare favorably to her as a woman.

∞ ∞ ∞

Friday as a woman was more like two days as a woman: a day as a woman at work and a day as a woman outside of work.

Outside work, I felt like an invisible woman passing unnoticed among the civilians. When I interfaced with civilians like the sales associates at Dress Barn and Macy's, they treated me like a female customer. I sometimes suspect and detect that such treatment is due to the $ in the word cu$tomer, but on Friday I think the treatment was genuine. At least it appeared genuine to me and that is what counts.

At work, everyone knows me as a guy the rest of the work year who does a good job looking like a woman one day of the year. Five co-workers know what's really up, but I don't know what the other 70 people think.

Comments like “you look too good” or “you do it too well” infer that they suspect something is going on beyond a Halloween costume. And those are just the folks like our CEO on Friday, who are vocal to my face about it. Others probably have similar opinions, but keep their thoughts to themselves or amongst themselves.

Whatever their thoughts, they all seem fine with me. I have an excellent relationship with everyone in my office and that probably has made it easier for them to accept me (or put up with me) during my one day per year fling as a woman.

So why do I do it?

Of course, I love doing it, but there is a small ray of hope that someday I will be able to go to work (and go everywhere else) as a woman all the time. My Halloween fling is a test for me and my co-workers for when that wonderful day finally arrives and I think we all passed. 

Wearing Boston Proper

Dick Wesson femulating in the 1953 film Calamity Jane.