tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3372432081562643074.post2447250026129233402..comments2024-03-28T23:10:11.954-04:00Comments on Femulate: Got T-Dar?Stanahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10259788604423472207noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3372432081562643074.post-31351757142367760632020-02-01T22:03:19.096-05:002020-02-01T22:03:19.096-05:00This issue is not so much whether our T-Dar is acc...This issue is not so much whether our T-Dar is accurate. The issue, at least in my mind is that there are so many different flavors of being "T" that even if we recognize someone as not having been born with female parts that person could be anything from a post op to someone venturing out for their first foray in feminine finery. It is a broad spectrum and you cannot really ascertain where on the spectrum any individual person may be. We are all different. Pat Scaleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00148601231866277374noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3372432081562643074.post-77024049043128638982020-02-01T10:36:13.716-05:002020-02-01T10:36:13.716-05:00Lovely... hoping to do same when I'm dressed i...Lovely... hoping to do same when I'm dressed in drab. SaraAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3372432081562643074.post-43155277723840281632020-01-31T20:37:39.342-05:002020-01-31T20:37:39.342-05:00What WE need is a 'secret hand sign' (some...What WE need is a 'secret hand sign' (somewhat dangerous in these times), or a 'special pinky ring', OR Jewelry pin... or maybe an 'a T-Dar' for detecting 'T-Dar'.... <br /> Maybe a phone app for being in proximity of another 'T'.<br /> The most beneficial thing you can do for yourself is to find ways to NETWORK with persons of like mind.<br /> I did make acquaintance with a trans man here while he stocked the makeup at Dollar Tree. I was dressed in DRAB, and made comment about 'my favorite lipstick color', which brought him into a conversation. <br />Velma <br />Velma<br /> Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3372432081562643074.post-25940678773663000052020-01-31T18:10:41.615-05:002020-01-31T18:10:41.615-05:00Stana, I am so glad that you posted this. Even whe...Stana, I am so glad that you posted this. Even when we are sure we have clocked a trans person, there is no guarantee we have guessed correctly. As much as we'd like to establish communication with a fellow sister or brother, unless we know for certain someone is trans, it is better not to misidentify. I'm saying that out T-Dar, no matter how well we think it is tuned, may not be absolutely accurate.<br /><br />Hugs,<br /><br />Sally Sally Stonenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3372432081562643074.post-34209874893916238592020-01-31T18:05:22.207-05:002020-01-31T18:05:22.207-05:00Stana,
I'm so glad you posted this, because, ...Stana,<br /><br />I'm so glad you posted this, because, sometimes, out T-Dar isn't quite as exact as we'd like to think. It is such a delicate situation when we assume someone is trans. The best decision is to keep our assumptions to ourselves, thereby avoiding a mis-identification. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11354446565863780853noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3372432081562643074.post-13552027704554893542020-01-31T16:15:42.266-05:002020-01-31T16:15:42.266-05:00Her makeup, particularly her eye shadow and lipsti...Her makeup, particularly her eye shadow and lipstick, along with her long hair would tend to push the scales towards MTF.Pat Scaleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00148601231866277374noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3372432081562643074.post-89739734488958917512020-01-31T14:25:59.229-05:002020-01-31T14:25:59.229-05:00I think I look OK, in any event I'm confident,...I think I look OK, in any event I'm confident, but the the other day in a hotel bar, I set off someone's T-DAR, and a man asked to join me. My initial apprehension melted away when I realized that "he" was a closeted sister, looking for advice and friendship. Turned out to be a marvelous conversation.Donna Johnsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11014749628981409339noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3372432081562643074.post-57111409863655757932020-01-31T13:54:27.093-05:002020-01-31T13:54:27.093-05:00I can truthfully say that my T-DAR has gone off ma...I can truthfully say that my T-DAR has gone off many times but only once or twice has it registered 100.0000% likely (other than at First Event where you have to shut it off because it is constantly on :) ). Of course, I did not say anything to anyone as I would not want someone to say anything to me out in the open.Leannhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03632559182842678839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3372432081562643074.post-36832081269405287512020-01-31T12:27:46.389-05:002020-01-31T12:27:46.389-05:00Thanks for your insights. Yes, I've wanted to ...Thanks for your insights. Yes, I've wanted to talk to a couple people on the Metro. If only I had more chances! But your points are good. SaraAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3372432081562643074.post-59526130043028553072020-01-31T11:07:45.110-05:002020-01-31T11:07:45.110-05:00Do you think the large guard might have been a FTM...Do you think the large guard might have been a FTM in transition? Both beard growth and a lower voice come pretty quickly to transmen. I point this out because I know a large female athlete friend of one of my kids who is now a man.MikkiBhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17776593599337986303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3372432081562643074.post-53920223647415133152020-01-31T11:05:03.318-05:002020-01-31T11:05:03.318-05:00And on a related note - am I the only one who look...And on a related note - am I the only one who looks at this Femulate Her dress and thinks - "With a short veil this would make a cute wedding dress."??Julie M Shawhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11335088569492502222noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3372432081562643074.post-41211817739194457292020-01-31T11:02:58.846-05:002020-01-31T11:02:58.846-05:00I "learned my lesson" in a different sit...I "learned my lesson" in a different situation, but I think it's applicable here. Many years ago I asked a "heavy" woman, "How far along are you"? You can guess it! She wasn't pregnant. That's the last time I asked that question.<br /><br />I saw my first drag show when I was barely 13 years old. I've been looking at CD/TG/DQ people pretty often now for the past 65 years and have what I think is very good T-Dar. But that "lesson" noted above has guided me for the past 50+ years. If I want to find out if my T-Dar is on target I'll try chatting the lady up and see where that takes me. If something is revealed I'll probably follow that thread if further conversation is appropriate. My eye is sharp after all my years of observation, but they're going to let me know some way or another. If it isn't obvious (me, for instance) I'll never be the one to ask.<br /><br />The woman I misidentified as pregnant? It's been many years since I last saw her, but back then I did see her from time to time -- she never spoke to me again!MikkiBhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17776593599337986303noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3372432081562643074.post-58158729664213988742020-01-31T09:49:18.574-05:002020-01-31T09:49:18.574-05:00I think my T-DAR is pretty good, but it's only...I think my T-DAR is pretty good, but it's only been activated a couple of times. The last time at Walgreens. Then again who knows, I may not be as good as I think. BTW, the trailer you mentioned is definitely worth a look even if it is all in Italian.wsrhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16594118647965330878noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3372432081562643074.post-81690996202999290982020-01-31T08:35:37.519-05:002020-01-31T08:35:37.519-05:00One of you memorable posts. We have been in Flori...One of you memorable posts. We have been in Florida for a break from the cold and visiting a friend in a gated community. One of the gate guards seems to be T. She is a large woman easily 6' and 220+ lbs. Both times we encountered her it was late in the day and her beard shadow was clearly growing through her makeup. Her voice was also in a very manly register. <br />I was driving and saw her first but my wife's first clue was her voice. She was in a standard gate guard uniform.<br />I agree that we have heightened T-Dar. I am certain that my wife's T-Dar is at least as acute as mine. My question is whether you and your readers think that our spouses have as sharp a sense of T-Dar as we do. Following Paula's thesis that since we are so concerned with being noticed when we are out are our wives as sensitive to spotting males presenting as females as we are.Pat Scaleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00148601231866277374noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3372432081562643074.post-35936746673618556372020-01-31T08:09:05.195-05:002020-01-31T08:09:05.195-05:00What you say is true, most us have that T-DAR, we ...What you say is true, most us have that T-DAR, we are always looking and always gauging. I wonder if that is why so many of us have trepidation's about passing? Do we believe that everyone else is looking at all those details? However I believe they are not, most people want to see you as you present.Paula_56https://www.blogger.com/profile/09762340959679940655noreply@blogger.com