Crossdressers vs. POTUS

I usually avoid politics here. Femulate is supposed to be a pleasant escape from the daily shouting match and not another place where Democrats and Republicans hit each other with their purses.

But sometimes politics comes looking for us.

The current administration has made opposition to what it calls “gender ideology” an official government priority. On his first day back in office, the president signed an executive order declaring that the federal government recognizes only two sexes and directing federal agencies to change their policies accordingly. His administration also rescinded earlier orders intended to combat discrimination based on gender identity.

Most of these actions have been presented as measures concerning transgender people and not crossdressers. There is a difference. Some crossdressers identify as men and have no desire to transition. Others eventually discover that “crossdresser” was only one stop on a longer journey. Our community has never fit neatly into one box.

The people promoting these policies seldom seem interested in such distinctions.

To them, a person assigned male at birth who wears a dress, uses a feminine name or enters the ladies’ room may simply be another man who is somewhere he supposedly does not belong. They will not pause to ask whether that person is transgender, gender-fluid or a card-carrying member of the Crossdressers of America.

The hostility spills over.

When politicians repeatedly describe gender-nonconforming people as dangerous, dishonest or mentally disturbed, some members of the public take the message personally. They feel that they have been given permission to stare, confront, ridicule and occasionally threaten anyone who fails their instant inspection.

That includes us.

POTUS probably is not losing sleep over a retiree wearing a wrap dress and heels while shopping at the mall. Yet the atmosphere his rhetoric helps create can make that simple outing more uncomfortable and possibly more dangerous.

For decades, I have encouraged crossdressers to leave the closet and enjoy the world. My message has always been that most of our fears are worse than the reality. In my experience, the great majority of civilians are polite, accepting or too busy with their own lives to care what I am wearing.

I still believe that.

I refuse to surrender the freedom I found after wasting too many years hiding it. I will not allow a president, a television pundit or an anonymous Internet warrior to chase me back into the closet.

But courage should not require blindness. We must be aware of our surroundings, understand the laws where we live and recognize that the political climate has changed. We should also support every person whose freedom of gender expression is threatened, even if that person uses a different label than we do.

Some crossdressers may support the president. People do not vote according to a single issue, and I am not going to inspect anyone’s voter-registration card before complimenting her dress. Nevertheless, crossdressers should recognize an uncomfortable truth: a movement that rigidly polices the boundary between male and female is unlikely to make a special exception for us because we only dress on weekends.

If transgender people lose their rights and public acceptance, crossdressers will not escape untouched. Our closets share a wall.

So what does “Crossdressers vs. POTUS” mean?

It does not mean shouting at neighbors, insulting relatives or turning Femulate into a daily political battlefield. It means refusing to be erased. It means voting, contacting elected officials and supporting organizations that defend personal liberty. It means standing beside transgender people instead of stepping away from them in the hope that the authorities will leave us alone.

Most of all, it means continuing to go out.

Every time a crossdresser shops, dines, travels or simply walks down the street with confidence and courtesy, she demonstrates that the frightening caricature bears no resemblance to the real person. Visibility is not merely political protest. It is how strangers become neighbors and unfamiliarity becomes acceptance.

POTUS may have the presidential podium, but we have something powerful, too: our lives, our stories and the courage to be seen.

I spent too many years in the closet because I was afraid of what might happen if I stepped outside. I will not return there because a politician thinks the world would be tidier without people like us.

Never should never be an option.

Wearing Shein

Tim Curry, 1946-2026