Get Serious

Blog posts will be intermittent while I am on vacation.

 

Wearing ShopBop

Dave Foley femulating in an episode of television’s Newradio.
Click here to view this femulation on YouTube.

Vacation

Blog posts will be intermittent while I am on vacation.

Wearing Ann Taylor

Norman Wisdom femulating in the 1963 British film A Stitch In Time.

Is It Safe?

Navigating Visibility and Risk in Today’s Political Climate

In recent years, gender expression in public life has become both more visible and more contested. The once-niche topic of crossdressing now sits at the uneasy intersection of fashion, politics, identity and civil rights. 

While crossdressing itself—wearing clothing traditionally associated with a different gender—is not illegal in most Western countries, including the United States, the safety and acceptance of those who do so are increasingly shaped by the volatile political climate surrounding gender identity. Nowhere is this tension more apparent than in the resurgence of policies and rhetoric aimed at erasing or restricting gender nonconformity. As a result, crossdressers today face a cultural and legal landscape that is far from settled—and in many ways, growing more hostile.

Historically, crossdressing has served many purposes: theatrical, personal, erotic, performative, rebellious or simply expressive. In some cases, it is an aspect of a person’s transgender or nonbinary identity; in others, it may be a lifestyle choice unrelated to gender identity at all. But regardless of the motivation, crossdressing disrupts traditional binary gender roles—roles that have become a political flashpoint in the United States and elsewhere.

In the last decade, strides in transgender visibility and rights have provoked fierce backlash from conservative leaders, culminating in a wave of anti-LGBTQ+ legislation and rhetoric. For those who crossdress, especially in ways that are visibly gender nonconforming, this backlash creates new risks in public life.

Trump’s 2025 return to the political stage brought with it a suite of executive orders targeting what his administration labels “radical gender ideology.” These orders, while not specifically naming crossdressers, enact sweeping changes that affect anyone who deviates from traditional gender norms. For example, Executive Order 14168 redefines sex as an immutable biological category, effectively erasing federal recognition of transgender and nonbinary people. By restricting how institutions acknowledge gender, this policy removes key protections for those whose gender expression does not align with their assigned sex at birth. While not a direct ban on crossdressing, the implications are chilling: it becomes easier to justify discrimination or even harassment against anyone whose appearance is deemed “inappropriate” by rigid binary standards.

The practical effects of such policies are already being felt in schools, workplaces and public accommodations. Crossdressers—especially those without the legal protection of a trans identity—may find themselves excluded from bathrooms, dress codes or healthcare access. In schools, social transition (which could include simply asking to be called by a different name or pronoun) is now treated as a form of “radical indoctrination” under Trump’s Executive Order 14186. Such measures send a clear message: nonconformity is a threat and visibility is a liability.

This political climate does more than restrict legal rights—it emboldens social hostility. As laws narrow the definitions of acceptable gender expression, public attitudes often follow. For many crossdressers, venturing into public spaces becomes a calculated risk. Will I be harassed? Will I be misgendered, denied service or physically threatened? These questions, once reserved for the most visibly trans individuals, are now increasingly relevant to anyone who dresses outside gender norms, regardless of identity. Even those who crossdress in private or within tolerant communities may feel the chilling effect of broader societal backlash.

And yet, in this moment of heightened scrutiny, crossdressing also functions as a powerful act of resistance. To wear what one chooses—especially when that choice disrupts long-standing cultural assumptions—is a declaration of autonomy. It says: “I define myself.” In a time when legal structures and public discourse attempt to force conformity, this expression becomes not just personal, but political.

To navigate today’s landscape, crossdressers must balance visibility with safety, expression with awareness. In progressive cities and supportive communities, gender nonconformity may be met with affirmation or indifference. But elsewhere, the risks are real and rising. Knowledge of local laws, connection with LGBTQ+ advocacy groups and community-based safety strategies are essential tools for anyone who wishes to assert their right to dress as they choose.

In conclusion, while crossdressing is not illegal, it is increasingly politicized. The broader assault on gender diversity, spearheaded by figures like Trump, places all forms of gender nonconformity under suspicion. Crossdressers—alongside trans, nonbinary, and gender-fluid individuals—are caught in the crossfire of a cultural war over identity, autonomy and visibility. The path forward will require not only resilience, but solidarity across the spectrum of gender expression. The fight for the freedom to dress authentically is, at its core, a fight for the right to exist unapologetically in one’s own skin—and in one’s own clothes.

Wearing Urban Loft

Chris Williams femulating on television’s Ugly Betty.

Stuff 81: The Search for Style

By J.J. Atwell

Do you have a “style”?

What do you usually wear when out? Do you want to look like a professional woman? A housewife? A party girl? 

So many variations

I just brushed the surface with those categories. There is a wide variation within each of those categories. A professional woman could be dressed very prim and proper with a skirt suit. Or perhaps a dress. Maybe even slacks and a nice top. What about a less fancy office though? Maybe just jeans and a sweater? It may not be as interesting, but it’s a style.

How about a housewife style? Today’s housewife is probably just leggings and a t-shirt. Or maybe just a mumu. Is that something that would interest a CD? Only marginally for me. If I were a housewife I’d probably just be in jeans or capri’s with a flowery top, minimal makeup, comfortable shoes, maybe sandals or slippers. Again, it’s a style. 

Maybe you’re more into a single woman Saturday evening style? Or a Sunday morning go to church style? Do we even know what those styles look like today? I know when I’m out, no matter what mode I’m in, I see huge variations in those styles. 

How did you settle on your style?

That brings me to what I actually started to write about for this installment. How did you decide on the right style for you? 

Teenage girls seem to go through a stage where they try different looks. They do their hair differently. Perhaps color it oddly. They work on different makeup effects. They experiment with different styles of clothing and shoes. Sometimes it’s a mashup of styles. Searching for a look that is unique to them but still fits in with their peers. 

As a CD, did you go through the teenage girl stage? Or maybe you’re still doing it? Are you trying different hair styles and colors? I know I haven’t yet settled on the right one yet. So I’m still working on that. 

When you dress, do you have a role model? Perhaps it’s your SO? Or a particular woman that you see every day at the office or in a shop? Maybe you want to model your look like a certain celebrity that you saw in a fashion magazines. 

Style is not static

Even once you find your style it can still change. Especially as we age. Just like women will modify their style as they get older, your style will likely change over time. It helps us stay current and blend in with the general population. Plus it gives us new experiences. 

I’ll be back

In the course of searching for my style, I’m sure I’ll find more stuff. Comments are welcome either here on the blog or by email to Jenn6nov at-sign gmail dot com. JJ is always looking for more stuff, so let me know what you would like to read about.

Wearing Reveriee

Logan Henderson femulating on television’s Big Time Rush.

Dress to Impress

My Life with Breasts, Part 2

By Jeanette Johnson

I made an appointment at the Methodist Hospital Breast Center for my tests. I was a bit nervous that I would have to deal with some bigot. My insurance was paying for my tests so I needed to use my legal name (I am too old and the process is too difficult in Texas to get your name changed). There was no doubt that a female presenting person was standing before the receptionisht, but she asked questioning, “Mr. Johnson?” I told her I preferred JJ. 

She had me fill out a couple of forms and then gave me a clipboard with a clear cover and an eraseable marker. I was instructed to circle how I identified. There were choices of male, female, non-binary, male-to-female transsexual, etc. I chose M2F and sat down to wait.

Wearing a front opening gown.

A lady entered the waiting area and called “JJ.” She was tiny. She said I was one of the tallest ladies she had tested and joked that she might need to find a box to stand on. She gave me a white and pink gown and instructed me to leave it open in the front. She left me to change. I had been told to not wear anything with metal, but to wear two pieces so I could leave my bottom on during all the tests.

She returned and had me stand in front of the mammogram device. She place a tray like device on the bottom plate and had me rest my left breast on it. She adjusted my position until she was satisfied and then she turned a knob that caused the clear top plate to flatten my breast. It was not the most pleasant experience but it was not nearly as bad as I had heard from others.

My doctor had ordered a Diagnostic Mammogram rather than a screening one. This required quite a few more X-rays. I was repositioned several times and then she did my other breast.

My breasts were placed in a
tray between the two plates.

She handed me another gown to cover my front side and told me she was going to get the woman who would do my breast ultrasound.

She returned and waited with me. She asked why I had waited so long to have my first mammogram and I told her that I had a late in life growth spurt from taking estrogen. 

She then told me that her adult son had just come out as trans. I asked her how she was handling the news. She said she would always love her child and would do anything to make their life better, but she wasn't sure what to do.

I told her to just love her new daughter. I told her that it is difficult at times for the parents. I grabbed my phone out of my new pink “Breast Care Center” bag and showed her a book written by a friend of mine to help parents cope with having a trans child (Thriving Through Transition by Denise O'Doherty). 

The lady doing the ultrasound led me to another room for my ultrasound. A wand like device is moved across each breast. This device is normally not used for screening unless breast cancer is suspected. My doctor had ordered the ultrasound because I had never been tested before. Denise was charming and we had a pleasant conversation. The radiologist came in while I was still on the table to tell me my breasts were completely normal. 

She said my breasts were considered heterogeneously dense with more fibroglandular tissue than fat tissue. The dense tissue appears white or light gray while fat appears black on the x-rays. She explained that tumors also appear white so detecting cancer was harder with dense breasts. She wished me well and said, “I hope to see you a year from now.”

The fact that my breasts were more breast tissue than fat explained why they had grown so impressively over the last 18 months despite losing over 20% of my total weight. My breast were no longer the gynecomastia I had for so many years.

I had taken a violent fall wight months earlier which resulted in a hip replacement. My primary care doctor ordered a bone density scan which is also performed in the Breast Center.

Alejandra had me lie on a table with my legs separated and slightly elevated. A machine made a couple of passes above me and I was done. The results (which were sent to my doctor and me) showed that I have osteopenia which is slightly below normal bone density. 

Me and my mammogram tech

The radiologist's report suggested a daily drug but I think we are going to attack the problem with increased calcium, vitamin D and weight training. 

JoAnn, the lady who did the mammogram, saw me as I was about to leave and asked for a hug.  I wanted to put her in my pink Breast Center bag and take her home with me. I can’t imagine having a better experience than my day as Methodist Willowbrook Hospital. 

I wrote a letter to the hospital's administration explaining who I am and how well I was treated. I was surprised to open my emails the next day and seeing an email from the director of the Breast Center thanking me for my kind words that she would share that morning with all of the staff.

Wearing Cynthia Rowley

Roger Sloman femulating in an episode of British television’s Eastenders.

My Life with Breasts, Part 1

By Jeanette Johnson

Do you fantasize about taking estrogen and growing your own breasts? I did. Growing your own breasts is akin to getting a new dog. You are responsible for their wellbeing. You have to support them and take them to the doctor for regular checkups. Hey, maybe that’s why a young dog and your breasts share a name: puppies.

I have had breasts for as long as I can remember. I suppose I started trending “transgender” long before that word was first used. As a chubby child, adult neighbors commented, “With titties as big as yours you should be a girl.” Who was I to argue with grownups?

Gynecomastia is from the Greek language meaning woman-gyneco and breasts-mastia. So literally the word means a woman's breasts. It is not uncommon among young teens who normally outgrow the condition. I never did.

I slimmed down as I became a teen. I played ball, was a life guard and a swim team coach. Still I had larger breasts than belonged on a 6-foot tall, 160-pound boy. Later in life, as I embraced my femininity, I liked how I could create the appearance of my larger breasts with padding and a push-up bra. 

I started hormone treatment 18 months ago with an endocrinologist who specializes in the treatment of transgender patients. I did blood tests prior to my first appointment. The tests showed me to be healthy and an acceptable patient for gender affirming medications. 

I had heart stints implanted about 8 years earlier. She asked if I would be comfortable giving myself shots. I told her that I would not have problems. In years past, estrogen injections were given in the buttock or thigh. Now they are suggesting that the shots be given in the stomach. The needles are much smaller for stomach injecting.

I didn’t realize how large my breast were becoming. There were signs that I needed to start wearing a bra. I have become friends with some ladies that own a Thai massage place. I couldn’t get comfortable while laying on my stomach for a massage. Rainey, my massage therapist, began offering me a pillow that could be placed just below my breasts to help support my body weight.

Rainey and Pailin, the massage place owner, saw me walking towards their entrance one afternoon. I was wearing some gym shorts and a loose tee shirt. Pailin gave me a hug and said “Miss JJ, you need to be wearing a bra. You have grown too big for free-range titties.”

My trainer owns the gym and has been my closest friend for over 15 years. I started working out with her about the same time as I started taking estrogen. She has me do a certain weight lifting move and tells me, “This is good for keeping our boobies high and firm” or “This will shape your upper back for when you wear a gown cut low in the back” or, when reminding me to keep my posture upright, will say “Stick those boobs out. You grew them, now show them off.”

There have been other areas of my body that became more feminine over the last year plus. Body hair has ceased to grow. My skin is smoother and a small layer of fat has made my face more attractive. I am even starting to see some growth in my butt. My golfing friends had given the nickname “Bayer” (as in Bayer aspirins) because my butt had two flat sides with a crack down the middle. 

I was wearing a 38B bra when I had my quarterly visit with the endocrinologist. “Your breasts really love estrogen,” she stated. “It looks like you are a D cup.” This caught me by surprise. 

At her suggestion, I stopped at Soma for a bra-fitting. I asked one of the fitters if she would help me find a bra that fit. She wrapped a cloth tape around me just below the breasts and a second one over the fullest part. “You are a 40DD,” the fitter proclaimed. “Your band is 39 inches which we round up to 40 and the fullest part of your breast is 43 ½. Let’s start with a 40DD and 40D and see if we can find your perfect bra.” 

I knew my breasts were growing. They hurt at times and I had to start wearing a sports bra to keep them from bouncing around when I worked out. I couldn't wrap my head around being a D cup. In retrospect, I believe my impression of what constituted a D cup was from women with a 34-inch band and D cups. There was a more pronounced cleavage. My breasts are fuller on the outside and bottom and there is a bigger area between breasts because my rib cage is larger.

The fitter had me remove my top and gave me two bras in a 40DD. I tried the first one on. She had me turn around and she adjusted the straps. To my great surprise it fit! There was too much room in the second bra but she returned with a 40D and it fit perfectly. The cups were filled to the brim with my own living flesh. That night I removed over a dozen bras that I had bought over the years online. None of them were in the vicinity of the right size. I donated them to a women’s shelter the next day.

I was also seeing my primary care doctor and her nutritionist to lose weight. I had packed on the pounds when I quit smoking. I have lost nearly 20% of my weight and am down within 8 pounds of the weight goal that I had set with the input of the nutritionist 

My primary care doctor knew I was taking estrogen. I went in for my annual wellness exam. “You’ve lost all this weight and your breasts are still much larger than last year,” she remarked. She palpated my breasts as part the exam and said, “I want to schedule you for a diagnostic mammogram, a breast ultrasound and a bone scan. I don't suspect anything is wrong, but we need a baseline.”

Part 2 of Jeanette’s “My Life with Breasts” will appear here tomorrow.

Wearing Boston Proper

Artur Chamski femulating Irene-Santor onn Polish television’s Your Face Sounds Familiar (Twoja Twarz Brzmi Znajomo).

Passing Tall

How to Pass as a Woman if You Are Tall

In today’s evolving world of gender expression and personal freedom, the desire to pass as a woman—whether for self-discovery, personal fulfillment or gender affirmation—is both valid and achievable, regardless of body type. While height might seem like an obstacle to feminine presentation, it is not a barrier. Many cisgender women are tall, confident and elegant. Passing as a woman when you are a tall man is ultimately about cultivating the right blend of style, mannerisms and self-awareness. This essay explores how attention to wardrobe, grooming, body language and confidence can help a tall man successfully present and be perceived as a woman.

Embracing Height as Feminine

The first step is reframing tall stature not as a disadvantage, but as a trait that many women proudly embody. Fashion models, athletes and everyday women come in all heights. The key is to dress in ways that celebrate height without exaggerating masculine proportions. Feminine silhouettes—such as A-line skirts, wrap dresses or flowing palazzo pants—help balance the figure. Tall frames carry bold patterns and long hemlines beautifully. Avoiding bulky or boxy clothing and choosing softer fabrics can help create a graceful and elongated feminine silhouette.

Footwear choices also play a role. While towering heels may draw attention, modest heels, ballet flats or stylish ankle boots can provide a fashionable and appropriate touch. Tall women often choose heels to embrace their height; there’s no rule against doing the same. What matters most is how you carry yourself in them.

The Power of Feminine Styling

Hair and makeup are powerful tools in transformation. A well-styled wig or haircut can soften angular features and add polish to the look. For taller individuals with longer faces or broader shoulders, hairstyles with volume, waves or side parts can bring balance. Similarly, makeup techniques such as contouring and highlighting allow for reshaping the face subtly. A touch of eyeliner, mascara and a flattering lip color can dramatically shift perception. Soft brows, gently arched and filled in, also contribute to a feminine facial aesthetic.

Clothing aside, accessories like earrings, handbags and light perfume reinforce gender cues. A thoughtfully chosen necklace or scarf not only adds beauty but draws attention to feminine zones like the collarbone or neckline.

Movement, Speech and Grace

One of the most overlooked aspects of passing is body language. Feminine movement tends to be more fluid, expressive and intentional. A tall man seeking to pass as a woman should practice walking with gentle hips and slightly smaller steps, placing one foot in front of the other. Hand gestures should be graceful and minimal, with palms often facing inward. Sitting with legs crossed at the knees or ankles, adjusting hair gently or holding a purse with poise all send strong social signals of femininity.

Voice also plays a vital role. While pitch is a common concern, resonance and cadence matter more. Speaking in a slightly lighter tone, using expressive intonation and softening speech patterns can go a long way. Listening to and mimicking female speech patterns—such as emotional expression, rising inflection and conversational softness—helps create an authentic sound.

Confidence: The Final Ingredient

Ultimately, confidence is what binds all elements of feminine presentation together. A tall woman who embraces her height, walks with pride and interacts with grace will be accepted as the woman she appears to be. The same is true for any tall man seeking to pass. Those around you respond less to your physical traits and more to how comfortably and naturally you express them. Projecting comfort in your appearance encourages others to perceive you as you intend to be seen.

Passing is not about becoming invisible—it’s about becoming authentic. With patience, practice and a sense of style and self, a tall man can absolutely pass as a woman. The mirror may show a tall figure, but the world will see a woman of elegance, charm and self-assurance. And that is something truly powerful.

Wearing Mountain Lodge

Jack Haley (right) femulating in a deleted scene from the 1945 film George White's Scandals.

Hidden Longing: Why All Men Want to Be Women

An Essay Exploring Repressed Desire and the Feminine Within

For centuries, masculinity has been guarded like a fortress—rigid, unyielding and policed by generations of custom, shame and fear. Femininity, by contrast, has been simultaneously idealized, ridiculed and fetishized, especially by the very men who are told to avoid it. Yet beneath the surface of male stoicism, bravado and performance, there may lie an unspoken truth: that all men, in some way or another, wish they could be women. Not necessarily in terms of anatomy, but in terms of freedom—freedom to express, to feel, to beautify, to belong.

At first glance, the idea seems absurd or offensive. Most men would reject it outright, conditioned as they are to equate femininity with weakness. But such rejection is often the first sign of repression. What if masculinity’s fierce insistence on difference masks a silent yearning for the very things it denies?

The Emotional Prison of Manhood

Masculinity, as traditionally defined, forbids vulnerability. Boys are taught early to “man up,” to hide tears, to repress fear. As men grow, they learn that emotions must be managed or more accurately, masked. Women, on the other hand, are allowed—expected, even—to express a full range of feelings. They bond over intimacy, weep openly, comfort one another and speak in detail about their inner lives. Men observe this and are often drawn to it. Some envy it. Many feel starved for it.

In this sense, the desire to be a woman is not a desire to escape maleness, but to escape the emotional isolation masculinity imposes. Femininity becomes a symbol of emotional liberation. The fantasy of being a woman often includes the fantasy of being cared for, of being tender without consequence, of being seen.

Beauty, Adornment, and the Feminine Aesthetic

Women are permitted, even expected, to beautify themselves—through makeup, fashion, posture and poise. The rituals of self-adornment are intricate, sensual and expressive. Men, by contrast, are allowed only a narrow range of aesthetic presentation. To be vain or stylish is to risk ridicule, emasculation or suspicion.

Yet many men harbor a fascination with these forbidden fruits. The prevalence of crossdressing in private—often hidden from family, friends and even partners—hints at a widespread and unacknowledged longing. For some, it is erotic; for others, it is meditative or euphoric. But it is always a form of gendered play. It is a step into softness, attention and transformation—qualities many men crave but cannot claim.

This impulse doesn’t always mean a man wants to be a woman in totality. It may simply mean he wants the right to explore beauty, vulnerability and grace without punishment. In that exploration lies a subtle, persistent wish: what if I were allowed to be like her?

The Eroticized Other

The way men eroticize women is often framed as objectification—but what if it’s also projection? The male gaze can sometimes mask a form of gender envy, a desire not just to possess the feminine, but to become it. In countless cultural expressions—from art and literature to pornography and fashion—the feminine is not only desired but idealized. She is sensual, soft, expressive, captivating.

Some psychoanalysts argue that male desire is often tangled with identification. A man may want a woman not just to touch her, but to absorb her, to feel her power through her softness. He may yearn for her social permission to be expressive, to be desired, to receive rather than always perform.

This idea manifests most vividly in the world of fantasy and roleplay. From drag to gender play, many men find liberation in taking on the role of the woman—not to mock her, but to access a forbidden part of themselves. The disguise becomes a doorway to truth.

The Threat of Feminine Power

Why, then, is femininity so feared in men? Because it threatens to reveal how arbitrary gender hierarchies are. If men willingly embrace the feminine, it undermines the entire premise of masculinity as superior, natural or inevitable. Society must then grapple with the fact that masculinity is not an essence, but a costume—one many men would discard, if they dared.

Women today have unprecedented freedom to adopt traditionally masculine roles, behaviors and dress. They can be assertive, powerful, even aggressive, without losing their identity as women. But when men reach for feminine expressions—through softness, vulnerability or fashion—they risk mockery or expulsion. This asymmetry reveals a great fear: that men, if freed from stigma, might choose femininity more often than we expect.

Conclusion: Reclaiming the Feminine Within

To say “all men want to be women” is not to say they all seek transition, nor that maleness is inherently inferior. Rather, it is to suggest that the feminine holds qualities men deeply need and have been denied. Emotional richness, aesthetic freedom, nurturing connection and expressive identity are human needs—unfairly gendered and policed.

In a freer, more honest world, perhaps men would not only admire women but emulate (“femulate”) them openly. Perhaps they would not fear femininity, but welcome it as part of themselves. And perhaps, in that embrace, we would find not weakness, but a new kind of strength.

This essay was inspired by a post on Amanda Hawkin’s Reading Room.

Wearing Shein

Femulating ventriloquist Bobbie Kimber