I spent the weekend doing housework, grocery shopping, and income taxes, while thinking about what to do about the elephant in the room.
One minute, I just want to blurt out everything and the next minute, I didn't want to say a word and just go on being a frustrated woman. And then there were times I wondered if I really am a woman.
I am reading No! Maybe? Yes! Living My Truth by Grace Anne Stevens. I bought the book because Grace transitioned in her mid-60s and I thought that would give me some insight at my age (64, going on 65).
I’ve read a lot of trans biographies and although I always find some similarities between myself and those biographies, there was never a close match between them and I. Not so with Grace Anne Stevens. I won’t go into details, but I see a lot of myself in Ms. Stevens… almost a sisters separated-at-birth scenario.
That should have settled all the doubts in my mind about being a woman, but there are still doubts and there probably always will be. Do I use those doubts as an excuse not to move forward or do I just damn the torpedoes and do it!
There is a big difference between Ms. Stevens and myself. She was divorced when she took damned the torpedoes, whereas I am happily married. Although I am happy with my marriage, I am not happy about being stuck between genders. If I was not married, I would be living as my true gender today.
And there’s the rub.
|Bryan Boy wearing Oscar de la Renta.|